On the Couch with Hogi.12 Personal Facts: Name:  Chris Davis Nickname: Chisel Age: 30 Footy Number: 11 Years at Bernard’s: 14 years seniors, 5 juniors and been there watching Terry since I was born Games Played: about 222 Previous Clubs: I'm loyal, St.Bernards only Where do you live with and with whom: Have recently moved back with the olds in east Keilor ( Saving money is my excuse) Job: Personal Trainer ( better than tait!) Marital Status: Girlfriend lucy 2 years Car: Toyota Corolla ascent AFL Team: The mighty Blues Fav AFL Player Juddy of course Fav Movie: Anything with stiffler in it and dodgeball Fav Actor: Stiffler Fav TV Show: Girls of the playboy mansion, prison break Fav Sportsperson: Michael Jordan Fav Meal/Drink: Satay chicken/ Jim beam and coke (not a breezer hogi, just Sundays on the footy trip) Fav Night Spot: Any club that dale owns, so currently CQ If You Had Personalised Number Plates What Would They Be: Chiz11 Routine Before Match: Work from 6 or 7am til 10am, drive to game, eat a boost bar and drink a V, massage from leah, Happy ending, ready to go! About Your Teamates: Best Dressed at Club: Hogi (after Melinda started dressing him), Worst Dressed: Trev Most Annoying Player: Evo (I leave it up to you to pick which one) Funniest Player at Club: Mick Kav Messiest on The Drink: All those blokes under 25 + Bocca Biggest Case Of White Line Fever: Adam Matthews Snakepits Pretty Boy: Judda Snakepits Lady Starver: Mounty (gets too drunk to close the deal) Snakepits Nerdsky: Gary Mcintyre (he listens to classical music) Snakepits Loosiest Player: Blunty Sport Our Skipper MACCA Cannot Play: Swimming (too hairy) Favourite Bernards Player: Tom Caven Most Underated: Now that Nick is playing 1’s, Andrew Smith Most Overated: Bomber (once an umpire always an umpire) Best Foot Skills: under 20 metres Hogi, Tom Overman Best Hand Skills: Justin Evans (he cant kick) Best Grab: Justin Buckets Evans, Potsy Best Tackler: Jess Manunzio Best Trainer on the Track: Tom Overman Best /Worst Tripper Best – Hogi,  worst – Dave Thomas Who Would Win a River Run: Blunty Who Has the Best Rig: Gerry Christie Whos Mrs /Sister Would You Love To Take Out For Dinner: Bombers Mrs! Will Tait ‘PUMPA’ Wilkinson Wear a St.Bernards Jumper Again: No, he’ll prob go to Strathmore too! Who Would You Want Next To You in a Melee: Adam Matthews Would/Would Not You Want To Room With On a Footy Trip Blunty, I heard he has toys! Favourite Snakepit Sideline Supporter: Bernie Comerford Least Favourite Snakepit Sideline Supporter: Simon Madden ( refuses to give me a game) Who Gives the Best Cheapies on Saturdays: Chatty What Player Would Get a Game in Bernards Cricket First X1: None of you! Maybe Ben 'the huss' hogi after his performance 2 years ago Prediction for the 3rd Annual 20/20 Cricket Match Cricketers by PLENTY (no underarms this year and Mick Overman … wear a helmet please!!!) Finish the sentence, The BAZZA is:  … a very special award that you DON’T want to win! Hogi Asks You 12 The Best: 1. Five favourite sporting moments: 1)  1999 prelim final - Go blues 2)  95 carlton flag 3)  Michael bevans winning runs vs west indies 4)  Aussies smashing of the poms in recent ashes 5)  Australian netball world champs win vs new zealand 2. Five least favourite sporting moments: 1)  Losing to italy world cup soccer (diving pricks) 2)  Any carlton loss to Essendon or collingwood 3)  Losing ashes in england 3. Five celebrities would invite to dinner and why: 1) Jennifer Hawkins – miss universe say no more 2) Hugh Hefner – so I could become mates and go to the playboy mansion 3) Gordon Ramsey – he can cook 4) Stiffler 5) Jessica alba – just hot! 4. Five celebrities you would not invite to dinner and why: 1) Jim Carey – reckon his a toss 2) Rafael nadal – cant stand the way he picks his arse 3) Oprah winfrey – shed eat all the food then do a weight loss show 4) Craig Hutchison – Massive tosser 5) Mike Tyson- I value my ears, a ticking timebomb 5 . What do you look for in an ideal woman? Personality, personality and personality and a bonus if she’s hot! I am a face person, has to have a gorgeous face. Face, arse, breasts in that order 6. Describe your best weekend in the last 12 months? Cricket trip in coogee bay! Great venue, plenty of booze, some great activities (races and rugby) and some pretty good views! 7. Name 5 players from the club you would hit the town with and why: 1) Justin evans – confident man who dances like a lunatic 2) Simon Cave – because it would be an achievement to get him out at all 3) Potsy – Would love to see the sleazy man in action 4) Hogi – Who knows what could happen 5) D-Mac – He is jusy sooo smooooooth 8. Funniest thing seen or experienced on a footy trip? 1st footy trip in Tassie, Hogi in full flight all day. A streak down the home straight in nothing but a G – Banger that had a crocodile pouch for his rubix cube. Then he did the same on top of a bar at the casino that night. Getting driven home at 5am in the morning, one block from the hotel, we say, have a look at this bloke in the gutter … wait a minute, it’s Hogi!, Hogi, come on mate we’ll take you home. (Hogi looks at the parking meter), Nah, its ok ive still got 30 mins left in the meter! Hogi had put $ in the parking meter so he could sleep in the gutter and not get fined! Footy trip legend!!!!! And just to top that night off, we get back to our hotel to see packages outside all our doors…they are full of bread rolls! Hogi, before sleeping in the gutter had been to the bakery and bought $50 worth of bread rolls and got them all packaged for the boys! 9. If you had to take out one of the following persons out for dinner who would it and who wouldn’t it be? SCATTERS, MEL’miracle’ BEYER, PAUL GARTH, ANDREW BRYSON, SNAKE PEARSON, JOHHNY RAFFLE or JIMMY ‘the bear’ TAYLOR Would – Mel Beyer so we could talk about our back to back premierships in the under 16 Wouldn’t – Bryso, he’d spend all dinner sleazing on the waitress! And it would destroy my chances with her 10. You just won $1 million, how would you spend it? Buy an apartment in port Melbourne, Buy into Travisty, Buy a black hummer And do an around the world trip, spend a bit on the mrs too! 11. Upcoming cult hero at the club and why? Think we saw that at the announcement of the senior team to face Camberwell, Jess Manunzio. What's not to like about him! 12. Finish the sentence: St. Bernard’s to me is ... … My life! I love the place and will be here til the day I die … hopefully thats a long time

'Chisel' Chis recently done the Kakoda track! Meeting the locals Ready to go Done it!

On the Couch with Hogi.12 Personal Facts: Name: Andrew Smith        Nickname: Smithy Age: 26 Footy Number: 26 Years at Bernard’s: 16 Games Played: around 100 Previous Clubs: nup Where do you live with and with whom: Just moved into the new palatial estate with my defacto Lauren Job: Occupational Therapist Marital Status: defacto Car: Mitshubishi Verada 1991 AFL Team: The Mighty Essendon ShinBombers Fav AFL Player Dane Swan: I love the way he doesn’t panic under pressure and gets all of the inside ball. Fav Movie: The Departed Fav Actor: Ed Norton Fav TV Show: 4 corners Fav Sportsperson: Scott Lucas- a genuine superstar who just goes about his business. Fav Meal/Drink: Lamb Roast and a pot served by James Hughes in the rooms after the 1’s/2’s have both just won. Routine Before Match: Wake up at 8.30, coffee & toast … paper, superleague stats from the previous nights game…Get to ground with Jnr or snaz (nowadays its just me and snaz) …walk the track…win snake pearsons the first contest of the day … in the rooms … shorts/boots/jumper ... usually I'm ready in about 3 minutes then I just walk around for the next hour waiting for Evo/Dutchy/Jurra/Snazza/Chisel and whoever else to finish their respective rubs/tapings.   About Your Teamates: Best Dressed at Club: Tate Pearson- I’ll never forget that huge puffy yellow jacket with the cut of sleeves that he wore to his 18th .(Clang, Jezza, Tractor will remember the one).. I’m just waiting for him to bring it out again one day soon. No but in all seriousness, Tate is a well dressed man, what about that shirt with the flames up the arms he wore to the ball a couple of years ago…. Now that’s style. Well done Tate. Worst Dressed: Probably me… Most Annoying Player: McMeekin Funniest Player at Club: Little Munz, great man. Worst or Messiest Player On The Drink: He will hate me for saying this but, Dwyane Evans. Biggest Case Of White Line Fever: Don’t know if it is technically white line fever but the fox is a very entertaining to watch on the sidelines in a close game. Otherwise I’d have to say Schrodsey. Name the Snakepits Pretty Boy: Tate Pearson Name the Snakepits Lady Starver: Don’t know if there is one, all the lads go OK from what I can see. Name the Snakepits Nerdsky: Probably George, seeing he is going to upload this to the internet somehow. Name the Snakepits Loosiest Player: Many can talk the talk, but not many walk the walk like young Brendan Ryan. Name a Sport Our Skipper MACCA Cannot Play: I think I saw him lose a rock  -scissor - paper contest to John Harvey the other day…. I think Macca was too nice to inform young John that the “gun” was not actually a part of the game. Favourite Bernards Player: 1’s- Tate Pearson, 2’s- Jess Munz 3’s- John Harvey Most Underated: Cant split it between Jezza Spiteri and Kase Tugayoshi Most Overated: McMeekin Best Foot Skills: Roachy Best Hand Skills: Jozza Best Grab: Buckets /Roachy /Tommy Caven /Pottys Best Tackler: DMac /Micky Kav Best Trainer on the Track: Lossa Best Footy Tripper/Worst Tripper: Have to be Chicka/ me (coz I haven’t been on one yet…hoping to rectify that his year) Who Would Win a River Run: D Blunt Who Has the Best Rig: Tate Pearson…must be all that core stupidity he does night and day Whos Mrs /Sister Would You Love To Take Out For Dinner: Probably any of the Pearson ladies … if clang had a sister /Mrs Will Tait ‘PUMPA’ Wilkinson Ever Wear a St.Bernards Jumper Again and Why: With just one game to go to make 150, surely Pumpa can sit on the pine in the two’s next year for one. Who Would You Want Next To You if a Melee Started: Adam Matthews Who Would/Would Not You Want To Room With On a Footy Trip: Would - Flags, coz he makes me laugh. Wouldn’t - Dwyane Evans - contantly strolling down liability street. Christopher Liberatore - no matter how many cans I’ve downed, you’ll never be able to convince me that you can hold down centre half forward. Who is Your Favourite Snakepit Sideline Supporter: No contest. Bernie Comerford… should consider changing career paths to psychology the way he can get into blokes heads. Who is Your Least Favourite Snakepit Sideline Supporter: Don’t have one. Who Gives the Best Cheapies on Saturdays: Would have to be the Trojan (Bocca), just wheel him out and let him do the rest. What Player Would Get a Game in the St.Bernards Cricket First X1: No idea … G - Love? Prediction for the 3rd Annual 20/20 Cricket Match: Whichever side Chisel is on. Finish the sentence, The BAZZA is: pleasure, pain, punishment, prestige and I’ve ran out of p’s Hogi Asks You 12 The Best: Five favourite sporting moments: 1)  Makybe Diva’s 3rd Melbourne Cup. 2)  North Melbourne losing by over 100 points in finals last year…twice. 3)  Watching Bryce Miciewicz do the nut-bush nude on a table during a club 2’s home game last year. 4) Andrew Catterall giving Jon Stevens (Ivanhoe) a spray a few years back about his tight footy shorts…”hey stevo, some twelve year old phillipino rang…he wants his arse back” Five least favourite sporting moments: 1) Relegation last year 2) 1999 Prelim final loss to Carlton 3) the rape and pillage of the sport by the AFL rules committee (/fun police) 4) to many true blue bernies blokes leaving for $$$ 5) missing out on finals in 2003 Five celebrities would invite to dinner and why: 1) Arj Barker- comic genius . 2) Billy Brownless- froffies froffies froffies 3) Paul Garth- for the after dinner cigar 4) Michael Jordan- genius… and also loves a cigar. 5) Andrew Bolt- so we could all pot him …. what a wanka 5 celebrities you would not invite to dinner and why: 1) Tom Cruise- fruit loop 2) Shiek Mohammah Bin Hi Lay’li- so he could put a ‘fatwa’ on tom cruise 3) Rove McManus- not funny. 4) Caroline Wilson- don’t think I need to explain this one. 5) Robert Walls - See above. What do you look for in an ideal woman? Makes me laugh and can keep up in a shout… keeper. Describe your best weekend in the last 12 months? Probably last weekend moving into the new pad in Moonee Ponds. Then smashing SKOBS at Righetti and kicking on to the boat cruise with a the lads. … great time had by all. Name 5 players from the club you would hit the town with and why: 1) Lossa- he always knows what time it is. 2) Flags- No one ever feels down when flags is around. 3) Junior- quiet achiever…. love hearing about his escapades the next day, 4) Chick- just knows how to have fun….and lots of it. 5) Libba- super league banter…”trust me smithy….I can hold down CHF “banter Funniest thing seen or experienced on a footy trip? N/A If you had to take out one of the following persons out for dinner who would it and who wouldn’t it be and why? Choose from SCATTERS, MEL’miracle’ BEYER, PAUL GARTH, ANDREW BYRSON, SNAKE PEARSON, JOHHNY RAFFLE or JIMMY ‘the bear’ TAYLOR Would have to be miracle... Still remains my favourite coach in my footy career. … tells it how it is and is always positive …. and because he’s a genius. You just won $1 million, how would you spend it? Probably start by getting the deck on oval 2 redone… Pay for every player to come on an extended footy trip. Pay off the mortgage with the left over cash…. Offer Tate Pearson 1000 bucks to buy that puffy yellow sleeveless jacket from him ….. pay some random bloke $500 to keep the bar open after every home game so chick and I can keep the concrete boots on. Upcoming cult hero at the club and why? Again, no contest … little Munz. Great attitude, can lay a tackle and is a wordsmith to boot.  Finish the sentence: St. Bernard’s to me is …(staring at the watch)…..best time of the week!

Smithy

On the Couch with Hogi.12 Personal Facts: Name: Grant Baseggio Nickname: Grantoss Age: 21 Number: 44 Years at Bernards: 11 Games: 60 ish (not including Jnrs) Previous Club: None Live: Niddrie with my old man Job: Apprentice Chippy Marital Status: Single Car: The Mighty Holden VS Ute AFL Club: Carlton Fav AFL Player: Mark Murphy Fav Movie: The Great Escape Fav Actor: Jim Carey Fav TV Show: Two and a half men Fav Sportsman: Casey Stoner Fav Meal: Good old Parma and pot. Fav Nightspot: The deck or CQ (if I get in) If you had personalised Number Plates what would it be: BASEGG Pre Match Routine: 6 Weet-Bix for breky, relax, go to the closest servo and get 2 red bulls. Start getting ready before half time in the reserves. About Your Teamates: Best Dressed at Club: Tate Pearson Worst Dressed: Glenn Scarborough Most Annoying Player: Don’t have 1 Funniest Player at Club: Lossa Worst or Messiest Player On The Drink: Dutchy Biggest Case Of White Line Fever: Patty Timebomb Harris Name the Snakepits Pretty Boy: Has to be Yoshi Name the Snakepits Lady Starver: Not sure but the word around the pit is D. Evans Name the Snakepits Nerdsky: Damien Iannazzo Name the Snakepits Loosiest Player: Chicka 4 sure. When he’s in form Name a Sport Our Skipper MACCA Cannot Play: Ostrich Racing can be tricky Favourite Bernards Player: Tom Caven Most Underated: Jesse Creasey Most Overated: McMeekin Best Foot Skills: I was going to say me but I think Libba just beats me Best Hand Skills: Roachy Best Grab: Pottys Best Tackler: Micky Kav Best Trainer on the Track: Foxy Hughes doing what he can to get fit again. Best Footy Tripper/Worst Tripper: Best Macca or Pottsy, good value. Worst Muzza from what I’ve seen the last 2 years Who Would Win a River Run: Either Reece or Blunty Who Has the Best Rig: Steve ‘Meat Axe’ Forcone (I think he works-out) Whos Mrs/Sister Would You Love To Take Out For Dinner: I don’t know any of them well enough to say Will Tait ‘PUMPA’ Wilkinson Ever Wear a St.Bernards Jumper Again and Why: Nah Tommy Caven has filled his spot very nicely. Who Would You Want Next To You if a Melee Started: Pottsy coz he can grapple, A.J Matthews coz he’s a unit or Tate Pearson coz he’s a physco Who Would/Would Not You Want To Room With On a Footy Trip: Would Brett Johnson for a laugh. Hogi after what I saw him do on the Byron trip. Who is Your Favourite Snakepit Sideline Supporter: The reserves when there behind the goals. Who is Your Least Favourite Snakepit Sideline Supporter: I don’t listen to the crowd that much. Usually it’s abuse at me because I’m the back man. You learn to drain it out after a while. Who Gives the Best Cheapies on Saturdays: 1 of the Mitchell Brothers or both. What Player Would Get a Game in the St.Bernards Cricket First X1: I reckon get Yoshi in there, it would be good for a chuckle. Prediction for the 3rd Annual 20/20 Cricket Match: I’ve missed the last 2, but we’ll probably smash ‘em. Finish the sentence, The BAZZA is ... is the most respected piece of clothing on footy trip, if you disrespect it you suffer the consequences (love that Ouzo) Hogi Asks You 12 of The Best: 5 favourite sporting moments: 1) Carlton’s win over Essendon in the 1999 prelim 2) When Carlton picked up Judd 3) Casey Stoner winning the Moto GP 4) Carlton winning the ING Cup (thought we had a shot that year 5) Winning a 4 premierships in jnrs   5 least favourite sporting moments: 1)  Being relegated (shattered me) 2)  Loosing the Prelim in U/19 3)  Aussies losing the ashes 4) Carlton being wooden spooners the last couple of years 5) Aussies getting knocked out of the 2006 Soccer World Cup. 5 celebrities would invite to dinner and why: 1) Hamish and Andy- good for a laugh 2) Big Fev- ask him how to kick 3) Miranda Kerr- Peeaaacchh 4) Gordon Ramsey- He could cook the dinner 5) OJ Simpson- to find out if you can get away with murder or not. Wouldn't invite ? 1) Tom Cruise- Poon 2) Anthony Mundine- To cocky for my liking, great boxer though 3) Kyle Sandilands- Wanker 4) Paris Hilton- She’s had everything handed to her on a silver platter 5) Any 1 that’s been in the Big Brother House What do you look for in an ideal woman? The less English they speak the better. Describe your best weekend in the last 12 months? Nothing really sticks out except for the footy trip weekend. There’s nothing better than spending a whole weekend on the piss with all your mates, and it doesn’t matter where you are. Look forward to this years trip. Name 5 players from the club you would hit the town with and why: 1) Jesse Manunzio- good to start the night off with a reading from the gospel of Munza 2) Chisel- he can sweet talk any bird. Then if she has a friend. 3) Josh Ryan- to see if I could get him as pissed as he was at the $12,000 raffle 2 years ago (Ask me if you want to see the video) 4) Joshy Madden- always flying when he’s on the piss 5)Yoshi- because I’ve never seen him out on the piss before Funniest thing seen or experienced on a footy trip? First night in Adelaide me, Pottsy Jimmy Stapo and I think Creasey were walking down one of the main streets. Next thing Stapo’s said “when was the last time you saw someone "borrow a manikin” runs into a shop grabs a manikin, trips over out the front the manikin’s body parts go everywhere, meanwhile the three of us are still standing there watching this. Stapo gets up grabs the body of the manikin and bolts down the street. If you had to take out one of the following persons out for dinner who would it and who wouldn’t it be and why? Choose from SCATTERS, MEL’miracle’ BEYER, PAUL GARTH, ANDREW BYRSON, SNAKE PEARSON, JOHHNY RAFFLE or JIMMY ‘the bear’ TAYLOR I would have to go with Mel ‘miracle’ Beyer (AKA dad) long story. Just because he’s always on fire down at the Lincolnshire. Wouldn’t Andrew Bryson because he would do something silly. You just won $1 million, how would you spend it? Very Very Stupidly. Upcoming cult hero at the club and why? Joey Indo- great all-rounder. Great bloke and footy player. Finish the sentence: St. Bernard’s is ... getting back into A grade and staying their.

'Grantos'

Luke 'Lossa' O'Sullivan Personal Facts: Name: Luke O’Sullivan Nickname: LOSSA Age: 27 Footy Number: now 3 Years at Bernard’s: 15 odd Games Played: 140 odd Previous Clubs: Essendon Royals Where do you live with and with whom: Oldies – I think you’ve meet them. Job: PE Teacher Marital Status: Please! Car: White with Mags AFL Team: Essendon Fav Movie: Stand By Me Fav Actor: Will Farrell Fav TV Show: Liz’s Kitchen Fav Sportsperson: Michael Jordan Fav Meal/Drink: Parma / Raspberry or pot of draught. Fav Night Spot: Don’t really have one. Love a good pub though.  Brett Johno’s and Mick Maloney house in Strathmore use to be good. 2am curfew would have really hurt those blokes If You Had Personalised Number Plates What Would They Be: Wouldn’t get them, Sorry Hogi 12. Routine Before Match: Nothing exciting, out for dinner on Fri night, footy, snooze on the floor, bed, wake up, J TV, walk to Sev’s, Powerade, Breakfast, organise who’s driving, pack bag, off I go.   About Your Teamates: Best Dressed at Club: Scatman or Mel with his purple hair Funniest Player at Club: Where do I start? I could give you a good 10-15. It’s amazing the combinations that get me, Johno and Chick, Kav and Blunty, Joey Indo and Munza, George Garth and Lozza Garth. Worst or Messiest Player On The Drink: Mitchell family minus Denise. Biggest Case Of White Line Fever: Presently; Chatty, Shroder or Kyle the worst I’ve played with Luke Gollant or Shane Byrne (how he could tell he’s students off for a fight or bad sportsmanship without smirking I’ll never know) Name the Snakepits Pretty Boy: Don’t know, all the U19’s seem to love a good kit these days. Name the Snakepits Lady Starver: FOX although, rumour has it he is a SLY DOG! Name the Snakepits Nerdsky: Nicholas Smith Senior Name the Snakepits Loosest Player: Look I could say the usual suspects Chick, Johno etc but vintage Michael Kav is just gold. He has changed and look lets be honest, he wouldn’t be here today if he didn’t. I have a feeling we just might catch a glimpse in the next couple of weeks. Strap yourselves in boys. Footnote: Although Kav has changed Snapper Blunt is still the worst influence. Name a Sport Our Skipper MACCA Cannot Play: Hiking….sorry I forgot he did do the Inca Treck. Favourite Bernards Player: Tate Pearson when he puts the blinkers on Potsy for hangers I reckon doDrsy, Stapo or Joey Indo could be in a few years Most Underated: Andy Smith Best Foot Skills: Don’t laugh foxy hughes Best Grab: Pottsy Best Tackler: Kav Best Footy Tripper- Please see the loosest players plus Macca and Pottsy really surprised me. Grant and Jess have to realise not to let him in a shout. Davo and Potsy would be good together. Worst Tripper- On last years form Dave Mitch, although, he did come good then maybe be Muzza but please, SALVA terrible effort. You never leave a footy trip early! Who Would Win a River Run: Yoshi or this may reflect badly on the club but again please see loosest players. Who Has the Best Rig: Me, Hogi Jezza, Bryce, Bocca or John Harvs. Whos Mrs/Sister Would You Love To Take Out For Dinner: Three bird’s with one stone; Snappers ex, Doorsy sister, Mick Overman daughter….. Nah no one really, it would only get complicated. You all know what happens when I  mix business with pleasure it equals Fight morning, lost phone, yada yada yada! Just quickly Thanks for everyone’s support just to let you know work is back on track!! Dad there’s some things Dad’s just don’t need to know. Will Tait ‘PUMPA’ Wilkinson Ever Wear a St. Bernard’s Jumper Again and Why: Nope earning to much money in Perth. Would be good to see a few others come back such as Tim Harves and Turtle. I know D-Byrne will pull the Bernard’s jumper on again. Who Would You Want Next To You if a Melee Started: Wouldn’t care as long as it was at the North Suburban. Who Would You Want To Room With On a Footy Trip: Wouldn’t care. It’s always to get a young fella a first timer, although, last years was pretty good, George Garth, Chicka, D Blunt, Macca, Andy Kav. Some inclusions would be Clang, Ben Locho, Hogi if he drinks light for the first 15 each day. To be honest whoever will have me, I’ve been known to wet the bed! Wouldn’t: If your spending time in your room with a team mate your wasting your time. Although rumour has it, it’s what a local EDFL footy side seems to enjoy doing!! Who is Your Favourite Snakepit Sideline Supporter: Bernie ‘loud talker’ Comerford Who is Your Least Favourite Snakepit Sideline Supporter: Not sure Jim Taylor seems to give me a good spray but well deserved probably. No one really Who Gives the Best Cheapies on Saturdays: Is it just me or do these questions seem to repeat…. Chatty, Shcroda or Joey Indo isn’t too bad. What Player Would Get a Game in the St.Bernards Cricket First X1: I’ve got a good student in Grade 6. Old man Nartz would be good, if he could see it out of the hand. Prediction for the 3rd Annual 20/20 Cricket Match: Who knows but you can bet on an argument between a Cricket old boy and a footy player. Happens every year. Supposedly I’m still getting blamed for something. Finish the sentence, The BAZZA is bigger than: the St John Bosco’s fete. Hogi Asks You 12 The Best: 1/ Five favourite sporting moments: 1)  2002 Flag and the week after. 2) Mel Byer on Fire U17 Flag. 3) Consistently beating James Terrence Mount and Drew David Gleeson in Pool and I mean consistently. 4) St. Christopher’s 3 peat. U12b’s, U12 a’s and 14B’s. Snazz defensive player in 1990. 5)The Jamaican bobsled team taking the winter Olympics by storm. Feel the rhythm……Brings a tear to my eye every time and…. that lucky egg. Brilliant stuff!!! And the remarkable thing is that in Jamaica it doesn’t snow. How did they train? 2/Three least favourite sporting moments: 1)  Loosing the 2 A grade Flags 2) B Grade relegation 3) Redbacks Basketball club forming. Bunch of cheats! 3/Three celebrities would invite to dinner and why: 1) Michael Jordan. 2) Noel Gallagher – haven’t caught up with him of late!! 3) Jesus – to see if he really was a builder. I have my doubts. If he was that good of a carpenter I’m sure he could have got a couple of nails out. 5/-What do you look for in an ideal woman? Hopefully, she doesn’t don’t have an ex or current boyfriend!! 6/-Describe your best weekend in the last 12 months? There have been a few, Falls over New Years, or the annual Man trip to Corowa. Foxy nude up the finishing post and getting chased out of the track, Garthy in charge of the Moonee Valley Boot scootin club, the classy and mature ladies, snapper and the limousine service, motor boats and Clang blowing everything up all round good trip. 7/-Name 5 players from the club you would hit the town with and why: 1)Ok I’m sitting on the fence here. There are the usual suspects mentioned in every on the couch with HOGi12 but anyone who contributes. Gives something. Doesn’t have to be much ,stays in the shout and stays on beer, tells a story or a gag. Just someone who contributes. That’s what’s great about Bernard’s. I’m even happy to drink with bocca at 4am.  There isn’t really anyone I wouldn’t go out with and that’s probably why I’m single and still living at home……..….. hang on if you see a cab stopping on the West Gate please stop and grab me. 8/-Funniest thing seen or experienced on a footy trip? Jim Stapo running the straight nude except for his ‘I love to dance bag’ and fiery skirt or clan getting run over in Byron. 9/-If you had to take out one of the following persons out for dinner who would it and who wouldn’t it be and why? Choose from SCATTERS, MEL’miracle’ BEYER, PAUL GARTH, ANDREW BYRSON, SNAKE PEARSON, JOHHNY RAFFLE or JIMMY ‘the bear’ TAYLOR All quality but Mel Beyer a personal favourite. We can always go back to the Mad Monday after the U17 grand final. Good day for us but not for him. He had to face the footy and College board. '10 year reunion this year' 10/-You just won $1 million, how would you spend it? Don’t need mags so…….. um, learn to fight. No I’m not going to say donate 500,000 to footy trip. Honestly probably 10,000. Then head back overseas (Yes I have travelled), buy a house and (similar to a party Andrew Cats had….brilliant), have a massive party wreck the joint re build, then find myself a really tanned misses and settle. 11/-Upcoming cult hero at the club? Jesse Munza 12/-Finish the sentence: St. Bernard’s is a place Mum can cook! Mum, Mick Kav recon’s you’re an ordinary cook. You’re a dog Mick, she’s just there trying to give something, trying to help. Ordinary Mick, I think Paul and Paul are lovely people……… Dad, don’t serve him a drink this Thursday. Boys if I could take this opportunity to send a quick cheerio to Daniel Deguina who has landed himself in another little pickle.  Chin up mate our thoughts and prayers go out to you. Lots of love LOSSA

Car: Honda Civic

AFL Team: Mighty Mighty Bombers

Fav AFL Player: Alwyn Davey

Fav Movie: Gladiator

Fav Actor: Matt Damon

Fav TV Show: Sultry Sandra followed by Sports Tonight

Fav Sportsperson: Mick Diamond

Fav Meal/Drink: Chicken Risotto/Mum’s Cannelloni

Fav Night Spot: Anywhere that will let me in

If You Had Personalised Number Plates What Would They Be: BIGEVO

Routine Before Match: Sleep in, listen to Pat Benetar on Video Hits, ring and heckle mates, read sport section of paper.
 

About Your Teamates:

Best Dressed at Club: Glenn Scarborough

Worst Dressed: Dutchy

Most Annoying Player: Steve Iannazzo- We have a love/hate relationship

Funniest Player at Club: Nick Smith

Worst or Messiest Player On The Drink: Could pick from a dozen, but Hogi is the opposite of a fine wine- he gets worse with age.

Biggest Case Of White Line Fever: BOCA Mitchell

Name the Snakepits Pretty Boy: There is only one- Chisel

Name the Snakepits Lady Starver: My little brother Dane

Name the Snakepits Nerdsky: Roachy

Name the Snakepits Loosest Player: Damien Iannazzo

Name a Sport Our Skipper MACCA Cannot Play: Does it exist? Perhaps smash the Mexican Piniata

Favourite Bernards Player: Micky Kav- juggling St Bernard’s lyrics and football is a tough ask

Most Underrated: Andy Smith

Most Overrated: Ben Overman

Best Foot Skills: Shagger Janides, exquisite

Best Hand Skills: On field-Tate Pearson, Off field- Lossa

Best Grab: Pottsy

Best Tackler: On field-Tom Caven, Off field- Lossa

Best Trainer on the Track: Tom Overman

Best Footy Tripper/Worst Tripper: Best: Jessie Creasey Worst: Mark “I have a lifetime ban from Footy Trips” Salvadore

Who Would Win a River Run: Blunty on one leg with pneumonia

Who Has the Best Rig: John Harvey

Whos Mrs/Sister Would You Love To Take Out For Dinner: Mrs of James “Foxy” Hughes- the hard questions would be asked

Will Tait ‘PUMPA’ Wilkinson Ever Wear a St.Bernards Jumper Again and Why: Let’s hope so- talls don’t get any shorter

Who Would You Want Next To You if a Melee Started: Johnno & Jesse Manunzio

Who Would/Would Not You Want To Room With On a Footy Trip: Would: Justin Fistrovic Wouldn’t: Clanger Mitchell- speaks for itself

Who is Your Favourite Snakepit Sideline Supporter: Jim “Bear” Taylor

Who is Your Least Favourite Snakepit Sideline Supporter: Old Nartz- more handstand sculling required

Who Gives the Best Cheapies on Saturdays: Chatty

What Player Would Get a Game in the St.Bernards Cricket First X1: Take your pick, everyone (not that hard)

Prediction for the 3rd Annual 20/20 Cricket Match Against: Football club bowl out cricket club for combined total of 1 and win under Duckworth Lewis system without even taking to the crease

Finish the sentence, The BAZZA is a prestigious award that makes the US Masters green jacket look like a purchase from a Buckley Street Op Shop




Hogi Asks You 12 Of The Best:

1/ 5 favourite sporting moments:
1) 2003 Premiership
2) Bombers 1993/2000 Premierships
3) In Barbados watching the Aussies win the 2007 Cricket World Cup
4) Last quarter 1984 VFL Grand Final
5) 1983 Boxing Day test, D.K Lillee knocking over Viv Richards with the last ball of the day (and the ensuing celebration).

2/-5 least favourite sporting moments:
1) Losing A Grade grand finals
2) Getting relegated
3) 1990 AFL Grand Final
4) 4th Test Adelaide Oval 1993- Craig McDermott getting caught off the helmet to hand the Windies victory by 2 runs
5) Soccer World Cup 2006- dirty dago Grosso taking a dive, putting the Aussies out of the tournament

3/-5 celebrities would invite to dinner and why:
1) Warwick Capper- not short of a word
2) The Pope- To gauge his stance on blokes playing football on the Sabbath
3) Jana Novotna- to teach the art of how not to choke
4) Bill Clinton- to ask the question “How was it?”
5) Miranda Kerr- Up and coming superstar


4/-5 celebrities you would not invite to dinner and why:
1) Kyle Sandilands- absolute goose
2) Mutiah Murilidaran- does anybody really think he doesn’t chuck it?
3) Delta Goodrem- clichéd, booooooring
4) Robert Mugabe- a dumb, blind Papua New Guinean tree monkey could run    Zimbabwe better
5) Marsha Hines- can somebody please tell her to shut the hell up

5/-What do you look for in an ideal woman?
5-9, stunner, intelligent, lets me watch as much “old school” sport highlights as I like, great cooking skills, subservient, etc, etc. Where do I find one like this?




6/-Describe your best weekend in the last 12 months?

The 48 hours included sipping pina coladas on a St Maarten beach watching 747’s flying 50 metres above your head, purchase of 3 litres of duty free alcohol for $10US, consuming 25 rum and cokes on Easter Sunday watching the Aussies clean up the Poms, drinking with the loose lead singer of Crazytown (one hit wonder- “Butterfly”) and getting served drinks by an Antiguan midget in St Johns Casino.


7/-Name 5 players from the club you would hit the town with and why:
1) Dane Evans: have to get the family approval for all late night activities
2) Flags- please, please…
3) Gary McIntyre: so we can discuss the relationship between VAFA, politics and religion over a few frothies
4) Mark Jurisckay: the voice of reason
5) Captain McLaughlin: the consummate professional, leads both on an off the field


8/-Funniest thing seen or experienced on a footy trip?

Perth Football Trip 2002. Liam “Turtle” Wilkinson did his best impersonation of Greg Louganis, diving off the top deck of the boat as it docked into Rottnest Island. The Captain was furious, resulting in poor turtle getting a visit from the local constabulary as he exited the jetty, being cuffed and stuffed in the back of the divvy. The video footage taken by Danny Byrne of the whole incident was something that only Hollywood could replicate.      


9/-If you had to take out one of the following persons out for dinner who would it and who wouldn’t it be and why? Choose from SCATTERS, MEL’miracle’ BEYER, PAUL GARTH, ANDREW BYRSON, SNAKE PEARSON, JOHHNY RAFFLE or JIMMY ‘the bear’ TAYLOR

Would: Mel Beyer- Nearly killed him on way back from Warrnambool Races in 2000 so he deserves a free feed

Wouldn’t: Paul Garth- He wouldn’t be interested in conversation as he’d be pre-occupied with group text messaging half the southern hemisphere the directions to Haileybury or the location of our next practice match.


10/-You just won $1 million, how would you spend it?
See answer to ideal woman. Who says money can’t buy love.


11/-Upcoming cult hero at the club and why?

Marty Byrne. His work on the dancefloors during the 2007 Football Trip was a sight to behold. Look out Chisel, watch this space……


12/-Finish the sentence: St. Bernard’s to me is my shepherd, and I want to follow, wherever he leads me, wherever he goes, over the mountain, the waters and byways, valleys and highways, he’s waiting for me.