St. Bernard's OC Football Club - VAFA - Melbourne

_ON THE COUCH WITH HOGI 12

ON THE COUCH WITH HOGI.12
PERSONAL FACTS: Name: Kyle Dalmau Nickname: Don’t have one since abo got suspended in U/17s Number: 16 Years at Bernard’s: 7 Games Played: 70+ and two years of U/17s Previous Clubs: Jnrs at Strathmore - Munza hasn’t changed much since u/12s! Where do you live with and with whom: Essendon with the camera man, mum, sis Brothers/Sisters: +1 sister Job: Podiatrist. Opinion available in the rooms for everyone minus Salva. I hope he breaks his foot (after footy season) Marital Status: Have a girlfriend. Stephanie Car: Holden Commodore which will be retired this year when the rego runs out. Past its prime. Power steering is dead, handbrake doesn’t work, tail lights out, AC gone, tires balding, Front driver window broken. Stereo is GOOD though. Name Top 3 Movies: Anchorman, Old School, Zoolander Fav TV Show: Don’t mind Two and a Half men Least Fav TV Show: Home and Away/Neighbours Fav Actor: Will Ferrel Least Fav Actor: The fat dude from master chef. Can you call him an actor? Fav Actress: Megan Fox, not so much for her acting abilities Least Fav Actress: Don’t like Sigrid Thornton in Underbelly Fav AFL Player: Essendon don’t have big name players anymore, prob Fletcher Least Fav AFL Player: Campbell Brown/Sam Mitchell tie. Two Icypoles. Fav Football Commentator: Liked BT on triple M, not sure now. Maybe the stats man Chewa (spelling?) for putting up with the sht all the boys give him. Provides a giggle Least Fav Football Commentator: Hands down Robert Walls. Don’t like listening to a guy who’s “special comments” are always negative, but yet always see’s bright spots in Carlton's play Fav Sportsperson:* Warney Least Fav Sportsperson: any soccer player. Period. Fav Meal: Parma Fav Drink: Carlton Draught Fav Night Spot: The Albatross in Shinjuku/Tokyo Pre Match Routine: Depends what game I’m in and how much time there is to kill before game time What Radio Station Do You Listen To When Driving: Triple M/1116/ipod If You Had Personalised Number Plates What Would They Be: wouldn’t get them. Did see a Porsche in a car park with the plates “IMRICH” and scratched in next to the number plate “then pay for this” ABOUT YOUR TEAM MATES: Best Dressed at Club: All pretty good, It’s the bad ones who stick out Worst Dressed: Have seen some very ordinary outfits come out of the Bergin household. Can’t split it between Shaun’s red cardy or Deans training shorts Most Annoying Player: This year has to be Salva, little pest Worst or Messiest Player On The Drink: Worst – Josh Ryan, boy cannot hold his liquor. Messiest, Chris Hughes always seems pretty thirsty Biggest Case Of White Line Fever: Irish, lucky his dads the umpire not looking too closely under those packs Name the Snakepits Pretty Boy: Coxy seems to do alright for himself Name the Snakepits Lady Starver: Marty has been out (injured) for a little while, hopefully he’ll get back on the horse soon. swoop Name the Snakepits Nerdsky: Gerry always seems to be doing homework when I visit the Christie household Name the Snakepits Loosiest Player: too many to mention Best Skills: All round ability, probably Rock Best Tackler: Grant Best Trainer: Byrnsey Best Footy Tripper/Worst Tripper: Footy trip virgin, losing it this year! Who Would Win a River Run: Jim Maloney very good over distance Who Has the Best Rig: Sam young is looking pretty fit in the kennel Fav Snakepit Sideline Supporter: Time bomb has been pretty good this year with his patented line to opposition backmen, “Even your mother hates you” Who Has The Best Mrs: All pretty good, Bernard’s boys do ok for themselves. Irish is jealous of a lot of the guys ‘batting above their averages’, think you need to change your strategy of skulling every 2^nd pint you get and take off those beer goggles mate. Senior B&F Tip: Think Singa would be up there. Micky Angel has been in the best a lot as well Best First Year Player Award: Jake Forder Name Your Favourtie Mitchell: Like it when Bocca is fired up Who Would You Want Next To You if a Melee Started: a teammate because I don’t think I would be able to take many down on my own Who Gives the Best Cheapies on Saturdays: Irish Who Will Be Next Captain When Danny Byrne Retires: Tom Caven Finish the sentence, The Bazza is … Something I’ve only heard of, and not looking forward to the day it’s my turn ONE WORD ANSWERS: Homer Simpson: yellow London: calling Wayne Carey: Coke One Bar: Underage Posh Beckham: tidy Mick Overman: Woof Footy Trips: Unknown Buddy Franklin: 100 Madonna: Witch Cab Drivers: smelly Paris Hilton: slapper Ramjet: Dog Xavs: Poons Tate Pearson: Queensland Sam Newman: Plastic HOGI.12 ASKS YOU: Name 5 favourite sporting moments: 1) Captain to 2005 Premiership win under Mel ‘Miracle’ Beyer. We lost the first game and won every game since. Ironically I won the first toss of the season and loss every toss from then on. 2) Attending 2000 Premiership by Essendon 3) 2006 Grand final when I cleaned up 600 bucks on the day 4) Winning Ashes 5 nil 5) Attending a Vancouver Canucks Game Name 5 least favourite sporting moments: 1) Watching a soccer game 2) Having to pass through the soccer pages in the sun 3) The Three Diagos on SEN 4) The day in primary school when we had to play soccer for PE 5) Seeing mates play FIFA on xbox Name 5 celebrities would invite to dinner and why: 1) Parvati from survivor – in case we went camping 2) Xavier Rudd – good tunes to chill out to later 3) Will Ferrel – Provide some comic relief 4) Megan Fox – obviously to help in case giant robots rocked up 5) Gordan Ramsey – could cook for us - and if the robots did rock up, we won’t feel bad sacrificing him Name 5 celebrities you would not invite to dinner and why: 1) Hutchy – Fat Knob 2) Tom Cruise – Little Knob 3) Sarah Jessica Parker - horse 4) Oprah – won’t be any food left 5) Lady Ga Ga – “it” would make me uncomfortable Name 5 players from the club you would hit the town with and why: 1) Snippy Byrne – likes a good night out and is inventive on the d floor 2) Irish Odea – doesn’t need much encouragement for a big night 3) Shaun Bergin – doesn’t drink that often so wouldn’t mind driving us 4) Luke Van Meel – also likes a beer and has a good stubbie holder 5) Josh Ryan – is good value, until he gets drunk Name 5 things that you LOVE: 1) Winning 2) Snowboarding/Snowboarding Holidays 3) Beers in the rooms/upstairs on a Saturday 4) Sleeping in 5) Playing footy every week Name 5 things that ANNOY you: 1) Losing 2) Soccer 3) Slow drivers who stay in the right lane 4) Cabbies who drive fast up to speed humps and brake hard to get there metres up by 30cents 5) Waiting in Lines What do you look for in an ideal woman? Don’t need to look far - attractive, fun, likes picking me up from the footy club when I have had a few too many to drive home Who would you turn GAY for? Jason Akermanis Funniest thing seen or experienced on a footy trip? Have just heard stories, no more uni or exams so looking forward to this year. Have you seen or heard what has happened to FOXY HUGHES? Have not heard a whisper from the Fox. Most likely still using his Fox powers to stalk his prey over in Europe. Poor girls Upcoming cult hero at the club? Think Munza has made his mark and is no longer “upcoming”, has some very sharp work. Upcoming candidates would have to include Joey Pignataro and Jacob BevPanda Finish the sentence: St. Bernard’s to me is … A great place to have a kick with your mates and enjoy a few beers afterwards at 5pm aka best time of the week	Kyle Kyle Kyle Kyle Kyle
PERSONAL FACTS: Name: Ian Lawrence Wheeler Nickname: Wheels or “hey….it’s your shout ! ! !” Number: 17 Years at Bernard’s: Nil, I’m an Old Paradian Games Played: at Bernard’s, nil but matches as trainer for Junior and Senior Clubs, approx. 950 over 18 years @ 2-3 matches a week (our eldest son Sean played in the Under 12’s coached by Snake Pearson and Gavin Mitchell). Previous Clubs: Old Paradians and Coburg Districts . . . didn’t make the final list at Hawthorn in the early 80’s . . . I was shattered ! ! ! Where do you live with and with whom: May St, Essendon with Karen (cook), Casey & Jack (kids) and Milo (dog and financial member of SBOCFC). Sean is living in Cairns. Brothers/Sisters: Nil, I’m an only child . . . Mum and Dad realised they had conceived the perfect child and went no further. Job: Life Insurance Adviser Marital Status: Ball & Chain Car: 4 doors and grey Name Top 3 Movies: Zulu, Braveheart & The Goonies .. all very motivational. Fav TV Show: Two & a Half Men Least Fav TV Show: Any reality makeover shows where ugly sheilas get surgery, new teeth, boob jobs and botox just to feel good . . . they should stop eating McDonalds, go for a jog, brush their teeth and wear a decent bra ! ! ! Fav Actor: Mel Gibson Least Fav Actor: Tom Cruise Fav Actress: Goldie Hawn (she gives me one ! ! ) Least Fav Actress: Nicole Kidman Fav AFL Player: Will always be Lethal Leigh Matthews . . best skills & best shirt fronts of all time Least Fav AFL Player: The one who is married, a womaniser, dumb, a chronic hopeless gambler, hangs out with crims, messy on the drink and will look back on a successful AFL career, in retirement, with nothing to show for it . . . Fevola of course Fav Football Commentator: Denis Cometi Least Fav Football Commentator: Tim Lane . . . who said the rules should change, because players coming onto the ground from the interchange bench have an unfair advantage as they can sneak up from behind, and target an unaware opposition player with the ball . . . get a life ! ! ! Fav Sportsperson: Leigh Matthews Least Fav Sportsperson: Tiger Woods, most men would be happy with a hole in one, obviously he is not ! ! Fav Meal: Rare Rib Eye Steak with mash potato, gravy & Australian Mustard Fav Drink: Heinekin, followed up by a Montara Shiraz of course ! ! ! Fav Night Spot: Cuddling up to the Missus . . . if she lets me!! Pre Match Routine: Take away Café Latte with Egg & Bacon Muffin from Café Calmer in Fawkner St. An added hash brown if I’m a bit “weary” from the night before What Radio Station Do You Listen To When Driving: I’m an Old Fart . . . 3AW. My goal is to hear that man Pigga strut his stuff on SEN. If You Had Personalised Number Plates What Would They Be: THE WHEELS ABOUT YOUR TEAM MATES: Best Dressed at Club: Johnny Raffle . . .nobody wears VAFA attire as often and as elegantly as he does. Worst Dressed: Scatters . . . needs a makeover big time, love you Glenn ! ! Most Annoying Player: Chris Mitchell, he has ticklish feet and its so hard taping them without touching his under soles. Worst or Messiest Player On The Drink: Peter (Irish) O’Dea, he is an absolute legend particularly on the Legends Footy Day. I now know what it means to have to “pour” someone down the stairs. Biggest Case Of White Line Fever: George Garth . . . he just loves it. From the past, when I played against St. Bernards … Frank Monaghan / Vinnie McGuire From pre-historic times, I reckon Jimmy Taylor . Name the Snakepits Pretty Boy: Jack Wheeler of course . . . surely he takes after his father. . . well his mum’s pretty sure it’s me ! ! ! Name the Snakepits Lady Starver: Does that mean you do ok with the birds or not ? Name the Snakepits Nerdsky: Johnny Hughes and Luke Gollant when they run around the club with their cordless EFTPOS/Credit Card machines. Nerdy but very effective ! Name the Snakepits Loosiest Player: Is this the opposite to a Lady Starver ?? Best Skills: Alex Jolley / Josh Madden Best Tackler: New boy . . . Jake Forder Best Trainer: Any one who turns up on time & trains both nights. Best Footy Tripper/Worst Tripper: Did Salva really come home early from a football trip??? NO….!!!!!! Who Would Win a River Run: Gary McAllister . . . fit mongrel ! ! ! Who Has the Best Rig: I’ve been keeping an eye open in anticipation. . .in the showers Dean Burgin and in the ice bath Tom Caven. Mind you, Tom looks much the same under a hot shower as well ??!! In the veteran’s stakes, Jura of course. Fav Snakepit Sideline Supporter: Vinnie McGuire . . . he keeps bagging the one opposition player till that player bites back, coughs up a free kick or kicks it out on the full! ! ! Priceless!! Who Has The Best Mrs: Me of course. Karen said she would kick my nuts up my throat if I didn’t say her (however….needs a bit of panel beating but runs okay, reckon I’ll trade her in before the end of next financial year) Senior B&F Tip: Tom Overman, a non-aggressive player who plays very aggressively (can you work that out ???) Best First Year Player Award: Nick Cooke Name Your Favourtie Mitchell: Denise Who Would You Want Next To You if a Melee Started: Anyone from Paul Garth, Mel Beyer, Jimmy Taylor, Scatters, Raff, Garry Boucher or Paddy Maloney….coz I reckon I’m still a chance to outrun them all, leaving them to “tidy up or get tidied up”. Who Gives the Best Cheapies on Saturdays: You’d have to toss a coin between Mick “Irish” O’Dea, Chatty, Mick Moloney and Schrodes Who Will Be Next Captain When Byrnsy Retires: Chris Liberatore Finish the sentence the Bazza is .. What’s a Bazza ?? ONE WORD ANSWERS: Homer Simpson: Yellow London: Broke Wayne Carey: Sad One Bar: Pointless Posh Beckham: Giverone Mick Overman: Soldier Footy Trips: Youth Buddy Franklin: Inaccurate Madonna: Giverone Cab Drivers: Dark (its night time when I see them) Paris Hilton: Giverone Ramjet: Gorgeous Xavs: Successful Tate Pearson: Smooth Sam Newman: Ego HOGI.12 ASKS YOU: Name 5 favourite sporting moments: 1) In 1978, being cleared by VAFA tribunal from preliminary final, to play in the next week’s U/19 Grand Final against Fawkner (I wore my Parade school uniform to the hearing while the other 2 West Brunswick players sat smoking cigarettes and wearing moccasins in front of the panel . . . good look ! ) 2) Winning the 1978 U/19 Premiership with Old Paradians against Fawkner low-lifes. 26 goals 10 points V 10 goals 12 points .. their supporters and players sucked stubbys at the ¾ time break knowing they wouldn’t win and went the knuckle even more! ! 3) 1983,89 & 2008 AFL/VFL Grand Final (always special against the Bombers & the Cats!!) 4) The next St Bernard’s Premiership 5) Being asked by Hogi and George to do “On the couch” ! ! Name 5 least favourite sporting moments: 1) 1963 AFL/VFL Premiership 2) 1975 AFL/VFL Premiership 3) 1984 AFL/VFL Premiership 4) 1985 AFL/VFL Premiership 5) 1987 AFL/VFL Premiership Name 5 celebrities would invite to dinner and why: 1) Gordon Ramsay … great to work with him on the barby 2) Carl Williams ... oh no he’s dead isn’t he?!!! 3) Judge Judy … I love the way she takes control & she’s hot !! 4) Chops … he is a gun !! 5) Tiger Woods, so long as he brings his harem along Name 5 celebrities you would not invite to dinner and why: 1) James Brayshaw . . . what’s his story and how did he get to be an AFL president ! 2) Kevin Rudd . . . boring 3) Craig Hutchinson . . thinks he’s so clever and all you want to do is push him in the Maribyrnong. 4) Any contestant from Master Chef … too many tears & journey’s travelled 5) Simon Madden (he counts doesn’t he ?) . . . I’ve heard all his gags before (gee I feel sorry for Mary!!) Name 5 players from the club you would hit the town with and why: 1) Joey Pigga ... plenty of enthusiasm and gay abandon. 2) George Garth … handy backup support. 3) Lachy McLeod . . has to be good value. 4) Bomber Cave . . . he can mind the seats while we’re all up dancing (coz he’s got a stuffed knee & can’t dance !!) 5) Hogi … just to make sure we all behave ourselves Name 5 things that you LOVE: 1) Milo our dog 2) My herb garden and BBQ decking 3) My original Beatles’ and Rolling Stones’ LPs (some of you probably don’t even know what an LP is ??) 4) The first beer after a win at the Pit !!! 5) Wife and kids of course . . . thought I’d better say that Name 5 things that ANNOY you: 1) Getting up to wee in the middle of the night. 2) Getting up to wee in the middle of the night . . . and it just doesn’t happen. 3) Getting woken up by Karen as she gets up to wee in the middle of the night. 4) Having to get up a second time in the middle of the night to wee. 5) Spectators that pinch fruit and lollies from the players on game day. What do you look for in an ideal woman? The G Spot . . . Who would you turn GAY for? Turn . . . I already am gay ! ! ! No, seriously though. . . Tony Schroder. Just to see the look on his face as we cuddled up and pashed on . . . priceless! ! ! Funniest thing seen or experienced on a footy trip? THE SCENE : Warrnambool 1980, 19 years old (before I was married), Saturday night, tired & emotional, 3am in the morning, driving around town, 2 mates with 3 lovely local young ladies sitting on our laps in the back seat of a small car .. it was very squashy in the back seat. I thought I’d made a new friend, as I while I was cuddling my new friend, I thought I could feel her stroking & kissing my hand. When the car stopped, my mate Mick McCarthy & I were the last to get out….it was then I realized that he was still holding my hand & had been passionately kissing & licking it for the last half hour !!!! ... Mick wasn’t impressed either !!!!!!!! Have you seen or heard what has happened to FOXY HUGHES? I heard he became a B-Grade porn star in Amsterdam and apparently is doing quite well at it . Upcoming cult hero at the club? The core of the U/19’coming through….Plugga & Tom Sullivan, Isaac Madden, Harry, Kizza Simon (Pebble) Caven, Schultzy, Poonza, Jack Gay, Sarge, Jonesy, Walla, Wheels & many, many more. THIS GROUP WILL PRODUCE A MINIMUM OF 6-8, REGULAR SENIOR FIRSTS PLAYERS, OVER THE NEXT 12-18 MONTHS ... OR I’LL RUN NAKED AROUND THE MAIN OVAL ON A COLD NIGHT !!!!! Finish the sentence: St. Bernard’s to me is … A great place to put in & be involved with great people .. gonna be a great place to win flags !!!!! Love youse all !!!	'Wheels' Wheels 'on the town' 'Wheels' 'Wheels' 'Wheels' 'Wheels'

PERSONAL FACTS: Name: Jesse Manunzio Nickname: Munza, Munzanatis, Natis, Von Dartis and a few of the boys like to join all of them together as in Munzantis Vondartis also Whippet (that’s a story for another time) Number: Any number above 40, they seem to be the smallest fit for my large frame Years at Bernard’s: 4 Games Played: Around 50 Previous Clubs: Strathmore Where do you live with and with whom: At home with family, why leave when you have everything you need. Brothers/Sisters: 3 sisters Job: I was a full time uni student. Now I’ve matured, I work full time at a mortgage brokers. I’m really good at making coffees for clients!! Marital Status: Not married Car: Toyota Camry aka the 40 yr old virgin – my old man used to drive it, never went over 50km I’m just starting to break her in. Name Top 3 Movies: Goodfellas, Anchorman, Braveheart Fav TV Show: Survivor – I’m back into it. Least Fav TV Show: RPA – too depressing Fav Actor: Johnny Depp Least Fav Actor: Kevin Costner Fav Actress: Kate Beckinsale Least Fav Actress: Julia Roberts Fav AFL Player: Alan Didak Least Fav AFL Player: Adam Goodes – he really annoys me Fav Football Commentator: Rex Hunt, BT and any of the crew from the 70’s and 80’s. I could listen to them for hours “you call the play, ill call the fight”. CLASSIC Least Fav Football Commentator: Any of the ABC team. They’re a little subdued for my liking. Get the boys fired up! I want to be excited. Lift gentlemen. Fav Sportsperson: Wayne Carey – best player I ever saw. Least Fav Sportsperson: Anthony Mundine Fav Meal: Any pasta dish mum cooks up and I don’t mind the occasional slice of pizza (yes I know I’m a wog) Fav Drink: I like having the occasional froth dog and I can’t wake up in morning without a coffee either. Fav Night Spot: I wouldn’t say I have a favourite one, however I do like a place to be cosy, comfortable, sik tunes, good crew, and open for a couple of hours or so. So I’d probably say Revs. Pre Match Routine: Toasted sandwich or cereal. Listen to some tunes and read the paper. What Radio Station Do You Listen To When Driving: Triple J If You Had Personalised Number Plates What Would They Be: Well my standard plates given to me by Vic Roads have been stolen from my car on 2 occasions, and been used to commit various crimes such as petrol runs and robberies, which I have initially been a suspect. I would rather have MUNZ painted on my car. Instead of stealing my plates they’ll have to nick my car instead. You can’t win these days!! ABOUT YOUR TEAM MATES: Best Dressed at Club: Creasey and Roc always look the goods. Worst Dressed: Dawes has been fond of wearing knitted jumpers that he has most definitely stolen off elderly citizens. Most Annoying Player: Matt Marian – I wouldn’t say annoying but there is something about Mazza that does get under your skin I suppose anyone who can fall asleep in the Deluxe toilet cubicle must be a muppet. Worst or Messiest Player On The Drink: Dog Hughes – doesn’t play anymore, but for those who haven’t had the pleasure you’ll unfortunately see this man at the club functions. Look for a bloke carrying 2 beers, trying to send a txt message with his eyes closed and occasionally insulting and heckling someone, especially during speeches! (mentions to Mazza & Lossa) Biggest Case Of White Line Fever: Pat Lambert – very intense on the field, those eyes could kill. His track record doesn’t lie. Name the Snakepits Pretty Boy: Sammy Scott – before 2am. Also our captain Byrnsey with those slacks he wears on game day – very sharp! Name the Snakepits Lady Starver: The stats man tells me the boys are well above average this year. Name the Snakepits Nerdsky: Joey “Poindexter” Indomenico. How many sessions has he missed because of uni and field trips to study the countryside and the shape of trees, He’s going for his Masters – what a nerd! Name the Snakepits Loosiest Player: Hogi 12 – You hear the stories, yet seeing it first hand in Brisvegas was special!! (1 more footy trip Hogi) Best Skills: Dawesy Best Tackler: Jurra - 14,000 career tackles according to Champion Data. Best Trainer: Libba and Lossa. Best Footy Tripper/Worst Tripper: Hogi and D'Mac are best, just took us young fellas under their wing and showed us how its done. There’s no secret its just experience, years of practice – all you can do is watch and learn, thanks boys! The worst is who ever gets the Bazza – I try to surround myself with those that won’t bring me to that level. Who Would Win a River Run: Jimmy Moloney Who Has the Best Rig: Deano Bergin – 0% body fat, those pectorals are bloody massive though. Fav Snakepit Sideline Supporter: Jesse Creasey – adapted to his new role very well. Who Has The Best Mrs: I’d have to say Freddie Foulds. Keeping it under raps. Cheeky dog!! He actually seems more at peace with the world, the tough guy image seems to be a distant memory….I think they call it LOVE! Senior B&F Tip: Singa – I just want to see him give the big fist pump when he gets up to accept the award. Keep up the good work Singa! Best First Year Player Award: Jake Forder Name Your Favourtie Mitchell: I’m quiet fond of all the Mitchell’s. Who Would You Want Next To You if a Melee Started: Jimmy Stapo, Patty Harris, Chatty and Patty Lambert. Who Gives the Best Cheapies on Saturdays: Irish, Schrodes, Patty Haris and Chatty – your all dogs and I love it. Who Will Be Next Captain When Danny Byrne Retires: Rock Caven or Dawes provided he attends all of Sat morning training sessions in the future. Finish the sentence .. "The Bazza is .. a wake up call – you need to smash that Ouzo, put the previous nights shit effort behind you and make sure it doesn’t happen again for the rest of the trip! ONE WORD ANSWERS: Homer Simpson: Pig London: Chelsea Wayne Carey: RooBoy One Bar: Underage Posh Beckham: spice girl Mick Overman: Tom, Will and Harry’s dad Footy Trips: WOW Buddy Franklin: 100 in a 100 Madonna: Strange Cab Drivers: Runner Paris Hilton: Dirt bag Ramjet: Dog Xavs: Money Tate Pearson: Winner – feel good story he’s got it all. Well done Tate Sam Newman: Very Humorous HOGI.12 ASKS YOU: Name 5 favourite sporting moments: 1) 1990 Collingwood Premiership – Even though I was 3yrs, I didn’t come home for a week! 2) Australia v Japan World Cup – Tim Cahill unbelievable! 3) Watching a 7 goal thriller, Man City v Sunderland at the Eastlands. They really are crazy over there. 4) Peter Daicos’ inside out checkside kick in the wrong pocket against West Coast to level the scores 1990 prelim. The natives went absolutely mental! 5) Playing in premierships as a junior Name 5 least favourite sporting moments: 1) Collingwood losing flags 2) Bernard’s losing 3) Losing anything to the Poms – it matters when you live there 4) When they tried to take the gold medals off Caster Semenya the South African woman in athletics, they thought she was a man – surely someone would have had the common sense to just have a quick look in changerooms (problem solved) 5) Watching St Kilda play their boring defensive keeping off football. Rubbish Name 5 celebrities would invite to dinner and why: 1) Any of the Rolling Stones – I want to know how they’re not dead yet. 2) Cheryl Cole – 3 words changed my life! 3) Gordon Ramsay – he can cook dinner and I won’t have the worst language at the table. 4) Tiger Woods – To test his table manners & see if he’d take that rubbish TW cap off whilst eating. He wears it everywhere to hide his rude crumpet! 5) Bruce Macavaney – I just want to hear him say at the end of the meal “DELICIOUS” Name 5 celebrities you would not invite to dinner and why: 1) Matt Preston from Masterchef – No cravats allowed 2) Justin Bieber – who is this kid with a buffont on his head! 3) Tracy Grimshaw – Gordon isn’t the only one who dislikes her. 4) Kyle Sandilands – How is this bloke on T.V 5) Tom Cruise – Not a fan. Name 5 players from the club you would hit the town with and why: 1) Joe Indo and Mazza – Always good to surround yourself with another wog. However can freak out every now and then. Relax Joe you don’t have to go home yet! It’s always fun to laugh at Matt. 2) Foulds and Dawes – So I know that when I miss a training session these two idiots will be in the shit with me as well. I can assure you we have learnt from our mistakes! 3) Sammy Scott and Dog Hughes – Well their both pigs of men. Plus if you’re with them you know u won’t get 500 txt msg’s from Dogga telling you how much he likes fun …. I think that’s what he’s trying to tell me! 4) Schrodes and Salva – They don’t make me look so short when I’m out. It’s good for the confidence. Us little blokes stick together. 5) Pat Lambert and Palmer – Pat to help remind us both to sleep. Don’t worry Pat were going to remember real soon! And Palms because there’s always peaches around the man. 6) Lossa and George – The 2 funniest blokes at the club. Things happen when out with these two!! Name 5 things that you LOVE: 1) Long Weekends 2) Sat arvo after a big win 3) Smashing it up with the boys 4) Good tunes – and a few beers are all it takes for it to turn loose! 5) Summer Name 5 things that ANNOY you: 1) People who are boring. 2) Political correctness 3) Foulds pretending to know songs – keep investing in those compilation CD’s Jake! 4) A Current Affair and Today Tonight – rubbish T.V, I think everyone in Australia now knows how to shop for bargains and what the local supermarket is up to!! 5) Delayed T.V telecast of the footy…its live on the radio!!! What do you look for in an ideal woman? Peach material, with good teeth – I’m a fan of a good smile. Likes to have fun. Who would you turn GAY for? Brad Pitt – when he’s cruising on that bike in Benjamin Button I must say I got a little excited. Funniest thing seen or experienced on a footy trip? In Adelaide getting all those muppets with the wallet and fishing line. Those South Australians couldn’t believe their luck. In Brisbane Hogi and his American war hero mate (he survived Iraq but cracked under the intense pressure of footy trip), also remember poor Steve Forcone’s very expensive, tightly fitted shirt being set alight and he having to wear Lossa’s very large brown t-shirt with a star in the middle (stavros wasn’t happy) Mick Moloney at the casino playing black jack leaving the table in the middle of the hand to light his fart on fire. Sharing a piece of toast for breakfast so we could smash beers at the only café willing to serve us. Mick Kav being hypnotized had me crying….enough said, Get on Board this year!!! Have you seen or heard what has happened to FOXY HUGHES? He’s most definitely on the run! He’s been trying to use different aliases. However various people have described a slimmer man of similar stature and piggery to the fox telling everyone and anyone that he “hates drinking piss with his mates”. If you hear this catchcry its best not to approach the man instead call Crime Stoppers on 000 I have been told that overseas agrees with the fox! Upcoming cult hero at the club? “IF” I mean a real big “IF” he got his body right and got the fitness up the big Bear Nation would set the league on fire. But he probably won’t. Finish the sentence: St. Bernard’s to me is … All about your mates. We train, play and smash it together. Win on Sat arvo and party all Sat night … and do it all again next week!!!	'Munz' 'Munz' 'Munz' 'Munz'
PERSONAL FACTS: Name: Joe Pignataro Nickname: Pigga, Piglet, Pignatron, Pigz, The Chocolate Frog (Irish!) Number: 13 Years at Bernard’s: 5 Games Played: 60+ Previous Clubs: Doutta Stars with Chrissy Tanks! Where do you live with and with whom: Essendon with the rents Brothers/Sisters: Younger sister (Lisa) Job: SEN Radio: On – Air Performer, Producer, AFL Analyst Marital Status: Chances Car: Holden Cruze Name Top 3 Movies: Billy Madison, Shawshank Redemption, The Hangover Fav TV Show: The Footy Show / Packed To The Rafters Least Fav TV Show: The Bounce – (Very average Pete Helliar – LIFT STRAUCHANIE!) Fav Actor: The guy that plays Alan in The Hangover – CLASSIC! Least Fav Actor: Stephen Milne (Get a hardball) Fav Actress: Angelina Jolie Least Fav Actress: Is channel 10 lady commentator an actress? Fav AFL Player: Dane Swan … plus … 43 other listed Collingwood Players Least Fav AFL Player: Stephen Milne + Reiwoldt the sook! Fav Football Commentator: James Brayshaw (J.Pignataro a close 2nd!) Least Fav Football Commentator: Stephen Quartermain Fav Sportsperson: Adam Gilchrist in his heyday (6’s galore!) Least Fav Sportsperson: AFL Umpires Fav Meal: Anything invented / created by Italians Fav Drink: Scotch & Coke although the Lemon Lime Bitters if I’m ever driving Fav Night Spot: Dellluuxxxeeee Bar! Pre Match Routine: Early Wake – up, ipod in, sit in the corner of the rooms & attempt to keep quiet, until the first bounce, then its non stop yelling! What Radio Station Do You Listen To When Driving: SEN If You Had Personalised Number Plates What Would They Be: Pigz 13 ABOUT YOUR TEAM MATES: Best Dressed at Club: Micky Moloney looked pretty suave Worst Dressed: Bergs in the parachute type pants Most Annoying Player: Can I say me? Bernard Shepherd loves ribbing me about nothing Worst or Messiest Player On The Drink: Once again can I say me? Although young Jack Wheeler looked pretty well GONE after our Granny last year! Biggest Case Of White Line Fever: Pat Harris, come on Patty, in an intra – club? Name the Snakepits Pretty Boy: Sam Jones hands down! Name the Snakepits Lady Starver: Gerry Christie – Wearing that no. 44 St. Kilda Guernsey! Name the Snakepits Nerdsky: The Neil twins know just about everything about anything Name the Snakepits Loosiest Player: Irish gets pretty loose! Best Skills: Micky Ange is a pretty smooth mover but Libba is immaculate! Best Tackler: Tom Sullivan Best Trainer: Danny Byrne (Wanna be him when I grow up!) Best Footy Tripper/Worst Tripper: Never been on the footy tripper. But I’d reckon a few boys would go close to earning a nomination as the best & I’m sure an early night face down in the dunny would put you in the worst. Who Would Win a River Run: I’d love to win 1, just give me that chance. Who Has the Best Rig: Everyone but me? The rock Caven seems to enjoy getting a rub before each training session – surely its not because his sore! Fav Snakepit Sideline Supporter: Franky Mono always has something for me, Ian Wheeler reckons I’m 6 foot tall – gotta love Wheels although – GOT A BIT OF HOMOSEXUALNESS ABOUT HIM! Who Has The Best Mrs: No idea, they probably wouldn’t introduce me to em anyway! Senior B&F Tip: Josh Madden started well but going away mid-season definitely going to hurt him, Libba to go back to back Best First Year Player Award: Patty Gamwell at this rate Name Your Favourtie Mitchell: oohh it’s gotta be big Clanga! (he is dead set ME in the future…watch this space!) Who Would You Want Next To You if a Melee Started: ahh Matt Soccio, Jack Wheels absolutely love the biff… Tommy Sull 4ft nothing scared of no one, and if Patty Harris wouldn’t mind coming in to throw a couple I’d take it! Who Gives the Best Cheapies on Saturdays: Jack Wheeler – little bloody sniper! Who Will Be Next Captain When Danny Byrne Retires: Tom Caven (Pigz is definitely right behind him & is a huge chance I’m hearing!) Finish the sentence, The Bazza is ... One of the most amazing things you’ll ever see, almost as amazing as me playing 4 quarters on ball ONE WORD ANSWERS: Homer Simpson: Lazy London: Disgraceful Wayne Carey: Duck One Bar: Home Posh Beckham: Plastic Mick Overman: Classy Footy Trips: Beers Buddy Franklin: Headwobbler Madonna: G-O-R-N (Gone!) Cab Drivers: Indians Paris Hilton: Hopeless Ramjet: Engine Xavs: Incompetent Tate Pearson: Legend Sam Newman: Idol HOGI.12 ASKS YOU: Name 5 favourite sporting moments: 1) 2003 Qualifying Final – Collingwood defeated Brisbane 2) Any of the 8 Anzac Day wins Collingwood have had 3) Adam Gilchrist 100 in Perth – SEN-BLOODY-SATIONAL! 4) David Warner spanking South Africans everywhere across the MCG in 20/20 5) The day I kicked 6 at Vic Park vs. Fitzroy in Bernards 90 point win – I’d give anything for that day again! Name 5 least favourite sporting moments: 1) Losing to arrogant Oakleigh bastards in my first Grand Final last year 2) Soccer – That is all! 3) 2002 & 2003 Collingwood Grand Final Losses – ROBBED! 4) Any Essendon win – Keep Matthew Knights, they won’t win with him there! 5) Doing my knee in Round 1, of U/17’s! missed out on the magic from Miracle Mel! Name 5 celebrities would invite to dinner and why: 1) Sam Newman – So he can bag what I’m cooking & give me an insight on how to be an asshole & be loved by so many 2) Bruce McAveny – So Sam can take this piss out of him all night! .. DELICIOUS! 3) Shane Keogh – Show him what I can do off the field & maybe grant me a spot in the 1’s (his a celebrity in my eyes – SHANEO! Pick me?) 4) Manu Feildel – Someone has to cook the food! 5) Eddie McGuire – If the deal with Shane falls through I might ask Ed for a spot in the black and white stripes! Name 5 celebrities you would not invite to dinner and why: 1) Matthew Knights – No one wants to be associated with him 2) Carolyne Wilson – Seriously Caro, theres a reason ya show’s on that late - no one can stand you! Oh and your ideas – there crap! 3) Daryl Somers – Way to much stuttering going on, 4) Jason Dunstall – A downright headwobbler who takes himself & life way to seriously…come on cheifton! 5) Jason Derulo – Don’t want him raining on my parade, specially how he always sings his name when he enters the room! ... we know who you are mate, it comes up on the screen! Name 5 players from the club you would hit the town with and why: 1) Irish O’Dea: Makes a point of everyone in the night club to announce that we are here! (loves picking me up in the middle of the dancefloor) 2) Micky Moloney: Not interested at all for his personal safety, just launches into any drink and anyone within metres of him! 3) Dave Kavanagh: Absolutely loves a good time! 4) Andrew van Meel: Fairly violent person & quite bullish the way he goes about proceedings in the clubs, although always looks out for the little pigz! 5) Omac loves to write himself off minutes into his nights, but Matty Soccio takes the cake at 5, just got some sort of presence about him when his out on the town! Name 5 things that you LOVE: 1) Winning 2) Kicking miraculous goals 3) Celebrating way over the top when kicking these miraculous goals (even from the goalsquare I make the degree of difficulty over 90%) 4) Playing at the snakepit 5) When Collingwood finally break through for that elusive premiership, I have no doubt I’ll LOVE that moment! Name 5 things that ANNOY you: 1) Being benched! 2) Other people driving on the road really slowly in front of me (they’re probably going the speed limit … but I’m on my P’s, move out the way! Isn’t that the reputation we have?) 3) Kicking a behind always gives me the shits, 4) When people tell me the live scores of the footy, when I’m trying to watch the delayed stuff on tv…come on channel 7! Lift your game so this doesn’t happen! 5) When the internet goes down & I’m about to send a controversial facebook status through the airwaves What do you look for in an ideal woman? Ahh well same height could just about be one of the only things – not interested in hearing the tall / small jokes, has to barrack for Collingwood, otherwise she’s in serious trouble & she’d have to put up with the talk of the Magpies at least 20 hours a day! Who would you turn GAY for? Alan Didak / Danny Byrne – lives and breathes and eats hard work! … Ian Wheeler confessed he was gay at our training camp this year, but Wheels, sorry mate…you just don’t make the cut Funniest thing seen or experienced on a footy trip? Never been on one, but our training camp day, was it Joshy Madden who jumped off the pier & landed face first on one of those sting-ray thingo’s? that and Jack Wheels reduced to a screaming little girl trying to dodge them walking out of the bay. Have you seen or heard what has happened to FOXY HUGHES? Absolutely nothing, heard nothing, seen nothing….does the term no news is good news fit in here?....Nah look Foxy mate, all the best with whatever your doing, wherever you are! Upcoming cult hero at the club? Ah well Irish nominated me, can I nominate myself? .. if not, then Danny Byrne has cult like abilities about him … the young fella’s absolutely live & breathe for his hard running, hard working regime he has at training. (I love it Danny). If Danny is abit old to meet the criteria, then its definitely The ‘Rock’ Caven, got a bit of a strut & waltz about him with his luscious locks! Finish the sentence: St. Bernard’s to me is … Home away from home, if ever the AFL was looking for another nomination for an 11th team in Victoria – You would nominate Bernards. Love the snakepit & the people in it!	'Pigga'

PERSONAL FACTS: Name: Tom Overman Nickname: Dawes, previously known as the Prince Number: 21, although I have been eyeing off Macca’s 25 because him and I are mates now after our intervention at the bowling club. Thanks to all those that mediated us through that as well. Years at Bernard’s: From the womb Games Played: About 80 / 90 odd, too many junior games to mention Previous Clubs: Nuto Where do you live with and with whom: Gattaca Close with mum and dad Brothers/Sisters: Sarah, William and Harry Job: Uni student, whilst juggling a part time role in small business development Marital Status: Single ........ Car: My champagne magna Nobby, He’s never been the same since I so carelessly backed straight into Joey’s car in the car park. Sorry Indo, chocolate frog... Name Top 3 Movies: It’s all gone Pete Tong (Frankie Wilde), The Castle and Fear & Loathing in Las Vegas Fav TV Show: The Footy Show Least Fav TV Show: Peter Helliar’s new venture, The Bounce. Yuck. Although it has been scrapped so now my least favourite are the abundance of crime shows Fav Actor: Johnny Depp for his work in Fear & Loathing in Las Vegas Least Fav Actor: Too many to mention Fav Actress: Keira Knightly Least Fav Actress: Julia Styles, she is just no good. Fav AFL Player: Simon Black and Jim Polkinghorne Least Fav AFL Player: Steven Milne and Kyle Reimers hands down Fav Football Commentator: Brian Taylor in his halcyon Triple M days Least Fav Football Commentator: Matthew Lloyd, his voice is better suited to mime Fav Sportsperson: Shane Warne, aka the Sheik of Tweet, who tweets many modern celebrities, none of which seem keen to respond. Least Fav Sportsperson: Ian Poulter for not responding to the Sheik’s tweets regarding a lime green pair of pants. Fav Meal Seafood and dad’s gourmet hamburgers. Give it a rest dad, you can’t call them gourmet when all you’re doing is using Turkish bread instead of regular hamburger buns Fav Drink: A nice bottle of red, particularly the Montara ‘home block’ pinot noir, courtesy of Lez and Dosh Fav Night Spot: Well Lossa said I’m not allowed to go to revolver during footy season, so.... I suppose next port of call is tramp but no-one can beat a well attended house party with all the regular trimmings. Pre Match Routine: I generally go for a walk, or go and have a kick of the footy, anything that gets me out of the house. Then I go to safeway and stock up on Powerbars. What Radio Station Do You Listen To When Driving: Triple J or Scatters’ 98.9 North West FM on a Friday night. Terrible reception though. If You Had Personalised Number Plates What Would They Be: DAWS21, Thanks to FRED10, JOZZ05 and HOGI12. ABOUT YOUR TEAM MATES: Best Dressed at Club: The piece of sh% Sammy Scott. Could have been me when I wore my lemon sorbet sweater to mad Monday, needless to say it perished while I was kayaking in Hardimans. I think Hogi still has the cremated remains... Worst Dressed: Lossa, buy a decent t-shirt that fits you mate Most Annoying Player: The little bloke that always follows me, Cooka knows the one. Not really a player but still overly annoying. Worst or Messiest Player On The Drink: Probably Jazza Jolley. Ohh, oh wait does he even play at Bernards? I Wouldn’t know, it has been a while. Ohhh you’re a dog Stapo.... Biggest Case Of White Line Fever: Schrodes / Time Bomb Name the Snakepits Pretty Boy: Would be remiss of me not to mention Dean Bergin and his tiny black shorts. Come on Bergs, give us all a spell. Name the Snakepits Lady Starver: Give it 6 months and it will no doubt be me. So what I don’t want to get back on the horse Fred? Although, the ‘whippet’ Manunzio has his eye on one or two. I think he’s just biding his time once a few mates go overseas! Name the Snakepits Nerdsky: The director of coaching, Tanks. I’ve never seen anyone hold keys and gather footys as well as him. To his credit though, reads the side out well despite some extremely close attention from the back room. Name the Snakepits Loosiest Player Hogi and Mick Kav have had me in stitches as per usual. Everyone makes me laugh in their own way though, so I am going to be diplomatic and mention the collective here. Best Skills: Libba’s right boot is gold, but some of the boots he buys are terrible. Lib I was going to boycott the team if you wore that old blue pair again! Best Tackler: Patty Lambert Best Trainer: I have never seen anyone as keen to train as Joey ‘the Pig’ nataro. ‘Sticky Mits’ Stapleton was looking good on the track until he mysteriously twinged the hamstring, just before a Thursday night ‘agility’ gig? Best Footy Tripper/Worst Tripper: Best Mick Kav / Hogi for their overly amusing anecdotes in Brisvegas. Worst: Pottsy, the only thing that he made funny was when he fought Jozza, so Joz stole his wallet and we went out. Who Would Win a River Run: Jimmy Moloney with his on-board running computer. Although Lachy McLeod has been fighting fit. Good to see Lachy back after his dental mishap. Your smile is crook as Latch! Who Has the Best Rig: The evergreen Mark Juricksay continues to look fitter. Stapo had a good rig until he came back from Thailand the size of a house. Fav Snakepit Sideline Supporter: Phantom, only when I’m staying out of trouble though. Bernie Comerford is also up there, and I will mention Patty Comerford because he has a gun. Who Has The Best Mrs: Without a doubt, hands down Freddie Crisp Foulds. Has printed the contract and won’t be far from putting pen to paper soon if he hasn’t already. If you see him around the next few weeks just be sure to get around and congratulate him. Senior B&F Tip: I could run with a smoky here, Ernie ‘Pringleton’ Singleton, assuming that no-one bothers him when he eats his McChickens from now on Best First Year Player Award: Too many geniuses to mention here. It nearly applies to half our side. Name Your Favourite Mitchell: Difficult question. David was my favourite before he looked like Romper Stomper so AJ was next cab off the rank. Although me and Bocca have rekindled our love for all Power Bars and Gels, so it a line ball. Who Would You Want Next To You if a Melee Started: The two bash brothers, Patty Lambert and Andrew Palmer Who Gives the Best Cheapies on Saturdays: Definitely not me, so: Cooka gave some tidy ones to his St.Kevins mates, but Time Bomb has pulled some gems. Speaking of which, has anyone seen Pat’s flash new car? Ohhh Patrick! Who Will Be Next Captain When Macca Retires: Rock Caven, when he decides to show up to training with footy gear. Finish the sentence, The Bazza is ………… An extremely well tailored garment. The image on the back is crystal clear and it hasn’t showed a single sign of any wear and tear. How did they get the nice zip up the front of it as well? ONE WORD ANSWERS: Homer Simpson: comical London: Impending Wayne Carey: Merrymaking One Bar: History Posh Beckham: Cans Mick Overman: Burgers Footy Trips: Arousing Buddy Franklin: Left Madonna: Mature Cab Drivers: Inconsistent Paris Hilton: Video Ramjet: Canine Xavs: Admirable Tate Pearson: Papa Sam Newman: Learned HOGI.12 ASKS YOU: Name 5 favourite sporting moments: 1) Joey Indo leading us to an U/19 grand final. We lost though. 2) Freddy Crisp Foulds getting his first senior game after 4 extremely hard fought years at the club. Surely enough, he was out for a subsequent 3-4 weeks 3) 2002 A grade premiership side: I was 7 years too late 4) Playing for the U/21 squad last year 5) Taking a break from cricket Name 5 least favourite sporting moments: 1) Relegation / The fact that I have never ever won a premiership with a St.Bernards jumper on 2) BJ leaving, yet again. One year wasn’t enough Ben! 3) Copping stick for using my left foot, my ambidextrous dream has been shattered 4) The last St.Bernards 20 / 20, the crowd was as dismal as the cricket 5) Finishing the U/19 20/20, then getting dragged along the concrete hanging onto a car, I needed skin grafts but went to Star Bar instead Name 5 celebrities would invite to dinner and why: 1) Shane Warne, the Sheik of Tweet. His celebrity tweet habits were priceless 2) Jonathon Brown would be super 3) Frankie Wilde, if he brings his badger. He’s a real person yeah? 4) Missy Higgins, I don’t care what anyone says she will still like me for me 5) Winner Pearson: To hear his modern take on footy and fatherhood Name 5 celebrities you would not invite to dinner and why: 1) Tracey Grimshaw 2) Steven Milne 3) ACA’s barking man 4) Entire crew of neighbours 5) Corey Worthington, I don’t care what you do with them all but make sure it’s funny Name 5 players from the club you would hit the town with and why: Freddy Crisp / Stapo: Fred’s got a Missus now so he might be toning down and I hate it when Stapo touches my face and my ears. It’s highly annoying Do. Matt Hughes / Dave Mitch: The two bourbon bandits. Hughesy when he’s not surfing or being injured and Romper Stomper Mitchell for his Seven fingers of slate and ridiculous Thailand crates. GOOD NEWS! Lossa / Mick Kav: Lossa doesn’t let me go to revolver, but it would be good to see Kav following his extended hiatus. Come back Mick. George / Hogi: George: can’t fault him, seems to have come back from overseas with even more charm. Hogi, goes without saying. Indo / Munza: The two chocolate Frogs. Indo to spew all over new carpet and Munz to bring back the prayer. In the name of the father and the son.... Name 5 things that you LOVE: 1) Saturday afternoon, 5pm: Best time of the week 2) Sunday sessions on a long weekend: gold 3) Revolver Sundays, yeah I know Lossa not during footy season 4) Smashing power bars with BOCA before a game 5) Red wine Name 5 things that ANNOY you: 1) Sunday night, 8pm: Rock bottom 2) Dave Mitchell’s alter ego: Spike Mitchell 3) The Ascot Vale LC family, that includes you Hughesy 4) Fouldsy always getting a beer after the game, he doesn’t play 5) Channel 7 with the footy What do you look for in an ideal woman? Needs to have a strange fetish for receding hairlines, loves a glass of red and has a couple of pairs of concrete boots. Who would you turn GAY for? Maybe the clean cut captain Danny Byrne, or even the piece of sh& Scott. However Sammy’s looks were tarnished when Jesse Creasey threw him over an ironing board and split his head open on Mad Monday last year at Mick Moloney’s. Come on Mick, your rules and regulations were too strict. All we did was light a fire in the house and throw a few golf clubs through the window? By the way, how did you get that couch back inside, in the rain? Funniest thing seen or experienced on a footy trip? Adelaide footy trip had some rippers, such as Macca taking camel rides on Glenelg beach with his Steven Segal wig on from the races and Lossa’s wallet on a rope gag out the front. The Columbian man from Brisbane was also entertaining whilst downing McFootytrip meals and listening to Mick Kav coin the phrase ‘pig of a man’ was priceless. Special mention to the hypnotist at Brisvegas, yet I was just keen to watch Fred Crisp dance in the background by himself. With no music, no mates and absolutely no idea of the state he was actually in. Have you seen or heard what has happened to FOXY HUGHES? According to old sources he is still chasing Neil Meagher’s dream of being a champion European cyclist. Had any beers at Knight Frank recently Fox? But if that falls through, I trust he is still honing in his drop kicks for the horde’s next showdown at Sportscover arena Upcoming cult hero at the club? Plenty to choose from however Tommy Sullivan will be a genius come a few years time. Bound to be a snake pit crowd favourite with his blonde locks and small frame... Finish the sentence: St. Bernard’s to me is … Across the road, yet somehow we share varied post codes. How strange? On other fronts, it’s where you want to be for the BEST TIME OF THE WEEK....	'Dawes'

PERSONAL FACTS: Name: Michael O’Dea Nickname: Irish, Twinkles (Thanks chatty) Number: 36 Years at Bernard’s: 6 Games Played: 85 Previous Clubs: Keilor with Freddie Where do you live with and with whom: Keilor with the folks and siblings Brothers/Sisters: Andrew, Damien and Catherine – (Stay away, I’m looking at you Kyle) Job: Professional punter/ Labourer at the moment Marital Status: Haha Car: Ford Falcon Name Top 3 Movies: Braveheart, Fight club, Avatar Fav TV Show: Man vs wild Least Fav TV Show: That shit show Paris Hilton made Fav Actor: Brad Pitt Least Fav Actor: Mike Myers Fav Actress: Jenna Jamieson Least Fav Actress: Lindsay Lohan Fav AFL Player: Joel Selwood / up and comer Jack Zieball Least Fav AFL Player: Tie between Nick Maxwell (So overrated) and Milne Fav Football Commentator: BT Least Fav Football Commentator: Don’t know her name, but that sheila commentator. What a travesty. Mute button comes in handy Fav Sportsperson: Billy Slater Least Fav Sportsperson: Harbhajan Singh Fav Meal: Meatlovers from goofies on the way back from a night out Fav Drink: Hard earnt winner’s piss Fav Night Spot: The old Deck + Cas combo goes a treat (Check the tapes) Pre Match Routine: Wake up, 7 or so weet bix, Gatorade and start thinking about it. What Radio Station Do You Listen To When Driving: Triple M If You Had Personalised Number Plates What Would They Be: IRISH ABOUT YOUR TEAM MATES: Best Dressed at Club: Sammy Scott Worst Dressed: Dean Bergin and those terrible skin tight shorts Most Annoying Player: Big bad bustling Bernard Shephard Worst or Messiest Player On The Drink: BOCCA hands down Biggest Case Of White Line Fever: Pat Harris loves a blue Name the Snakepits Pretty Boy: Dave Rye is quite the pansy Name the Snakepits Lady Starver: Gerry Christie. He’s just fading away Name the Snakepits Nerdsky: Liam Cookson Name the Snakepits Loosiest Player: Freddie Foulds Best Skills: Libbatron seems to hit me on the tit everytime Best Tackler: Micky moloney Best Trainer: T Overman Best Footy Tripper/Worst Tripper: Best I’ve seen is D-Mac, this bloke’s a true stayer and knows how to have fun. Worst tripper a tie between Salva and Muzza. Salva, who leaves a footy trip early? Even if you did do your balls on the punt. Muzza for cutting my lunch after tuning and even buying this bird a few. Come on Matthew, give me a go Who Would Win a River Run: Shane Keogh Who Has the Best Rig: Snippy Byrne loves to get his shirt off, seems like that’s not the only thing coming off for him these days Fav Snakepit Sideline Supporter: Some of those things Bernie Comerford comes up with are remarkable. Special mentions to AJ Who Has The Best Mrs: Wier and Dalmau are definitely batting above their average Senior B&F Tip: Libba $1.65 back to back, Lossa $2.80, T Overman $4, Singo (Darkhorse) $5.50, Field $6 Best First Year Player Award: Jake Forder Name Your Favourtie Mitchell: Every Mitchell except Clang Who Would You Want Next To You if a Melee Started: After a recent practice match with SKevs (hate those blokes) I would have to say Lossa. Had a few blokes by the scruff of the neck and threw in a few cheapies when he wasn’t even playing. Love your stuff Mr. Messy Who Gives the Best Cheapies on Saturdays: Simon ‘the fisherman’ Chatfeild throws a nasty hook. No pun intended Who Will Be Next Captain When Danny Byrne retires: Tom Caven Finish the sentence, The Bazza is … Tough but fair ONE WORD ANSWERS: Homer Simpson: Doh London: Pom’s Wayne Carey: King One Bar: Slappers Posh Beckham: Knockers Mick Overman: Woof Footy Trips: Loose Buddy Franklin: Goals Madonna: Old Cab Drivers: 33 (You know what I’m talking about Muzza) Paris Hilton: Video Ramjet: Rocket Xavs: #@%&’s (Open to interpretation) Tate Pearson: Daddy Sam Newman: Genius HOGI.12 ASKS YOU: Name 5 favourite sporting moments: 1) 2005 Premiership win under ‘Miracle’ Mel Beyer 2) 1996 Kangaroos centenary premiership. We have the gold cup, your silverware doesn’t compare to this 3) 2000 Cox plate when Sunline shit in by 6-7 lengths. I was 13 at the time and had my left and right nut on it. 4) Makybe Diva Treble 5) St Bernards cleaning up with premierships all round in 2010 Name 5 least favourite sporting moments: 1) Relegation 2) That spaghetti eating Italian dog that dived during the world cup 3) Any St bernards loss 4) When Adelaide beat the kangaroos in the 1998 grand final 5) When the sniper shot my hamstring in the 2007 U19 Preliminary final Name 5 celebrities you would invite to dinner and why: 1) Bear Grylls – To teach me some of the things he knows. This bloke is a deadset genius. He’s also not a fussy eater 2) Rodney Rude – So he can tell jokes about Japanese people 3) Chas Licciardello – Funny man and not afraid to push the boundaries 4) Shapelle Corby – To give her a go 5) Jesus – Free wine Name 5 celebrities you would not invite to dinner and why: 1) Hitler – He’s a dog 2) Hutchy - Tosser 3) That bloke from ready steady cook – His lazy eye scares me 4) Seth Green – Annoying and just not funny 5) Paris Hilton – I can’t, like stand her Name 5 players from the club you would hit the town with and why: 1) Snippy Byrne – Takes me home when I get too pissed and cleans me up 2) Lossa pre missus – Was as loose as a goose in his hay-day. Nonetheless there’s still some fight left in the old dog 3) George Garth – For the acoustic tunes and to keep me into line (He throws a mean jab) 4) Ben Hogan – Fantastic value and to keep my reflexes sharp (Anyone that was on the balcony on Brisvegas footy trip would know about this) 5) Dmac and Libba – Always good for a skittlebomb no matter what time/ place Name 5 things that you LOVE: 1) Winners piss 2) Taking hangers 3) The heckling behind the goals (‘You’re alright mate .. with a bit of rosemary and garlic’) 4) Getting up on the punt, kick..kick..kick…swoop 5) When you lay a massive bump on an opposition player and you hear a crack Name 5 things that ANNOY you: 1) Having fun with my mates 2) When you’re at the casino playing blackjack, you stand on a 20, then the dealer pulls out 5 cards and gets a 21 3) When you’re at a 21st and people take one sip of their can, leave it, and get a new one. 4) Cyclists (Sorry Evo) 5) People named Jessica What do you look for in an ideal woman? Must be <22 on the BMI, accept my tendencies to consume excessive alcohol, smell like vanilla or coconut, not be named Jessica. Surely that’s not too much to ask for Who would you turn GAY for? Jonathan Brown Funniest thing seen or experienced on a footy trip? Benjamin Hogan and Mick Moloney replicating Kelly Slater on a garbage truck. The local constable’s weren’t impressed, I was Have you seen or heard what has happened to FOXY HUGHES? Apparently the Fox has definitely been on the run (Either that or its mating season). Dropped half his body weight and the whispers are when he gets back he’s a walk up start for the 1’s. Watch this space Upcoming cult hero at the club? Would have to be Joe ‘the chocolate frog’ ‘Pigga’ Pignataro. Seriously sonny will you please just turn it off! Finish the sentence: St. Bernard’s to me is … The place to be on a Saturday afternoon at 5 o’clock, it really is the best time of the week!	Mick 'Irish' O'Dea Irish No. 1 fan 'Chops'
PERSONAL FACTS: Name: Jake Foulds Nickname: Fouldsy, Freddy, Fred, phat beats Fred, the white natinui, nui, shadow, thrill & sisqo (jozza), weapon & Ox (jozza), resident revolver violinist, the QBH shuffler and apparently the wizard Number: 10 until George comes back from his crazy adventures. Years at Bernard’s: was water boying the seniors with Mick O’Dea in the thick of the 90’s, had a brief hiatus and back for last 5 years . Games Played: NO idea, between two weeks on / one week off and if its an RDO week I'd say 40 games in 5 years. Previous Clubs: Keilor Football club in the glory years, Calder Cannons .. not so glory years. Where do you live with and with whom: Home during the week with mum, dad and 2 sisters Brothers/Sisters: Jessica and Abbey, who I have kept under the St Bernards radar for over 10 years … and there they will stay. Job: Apprentice Sparky Marital Status: Vicious Hunt Car: Sick two toned Calais with interceptor rims (standard police vehicles) 2.5 inch exhaust, full electrics and rusted roof. Also Known as the lemon or Gandalf the Grey because ‘a wizard is never late, he arrives precisely when he means too. Name Top 3 Movies: Borat, The Departed, Scarface Fav TV Show: The Sopranos Box sets Least Fav TV Show: that ‘talking about my generation’ just because someone needs to punch that generation ‘Y’ guy square in the throat. Your not funny with that hair. Fav Actor: Bover from Green Street Hooligans because he would rather adopt a fly kick in the last fight scene when a simple punch was needed. Tommy hatcher…Petey is aleady dead stop hitting him. Least Fav Actor: only seen previews but everyone from Slumdog Millionaire. Fav Actress: Megan Fox only because she looks good sweaty and can fight big robots. Least Fav Actress: Renee Zellweger because Asians aren’t hot. Fav AFL Player: James Polkinghorne or Nic Cattapan .. wait he plays VFL ..VFL Reserves that is, come on Coburg give him a go. Even if he does sniff girls hair at the deck. Least Fav AFL Player: Milne Fav Football Commentator: Jason Dunstal when he threw his rice at Quatermaine and started swearing Least Fav Football Commentator: Quatermaine cause he kicked Dunstal out of box for throwing rice on him and swearing. Fav Sportsperson: Footballers Least Fav Sportsperson: Cricketers Fav Meal /Fav Drink: all good veggies really Fav Night Spot: use to be VIP at Vinyl Lounge .. hang on Macca did those VIP key rings actually do anything because everytime I went up Gordo said back of the line? It was strange. But now its tramparious Pre Match Routine: wake up, go to footy, play footy, go out. What Radio Station Do You Listen To When Driving: Triple J or some phat beats from matt brigs, the man can play. Also has a terrible case of the wandering hands that will one day get him into trouble, serious trouble. Matt, I swear I didn’t know she was with you when I started rubbing her back. If You Had Personalised Number Plates What Would They Be: FRED10 thanks JOZZ05. Thanks HOGI12 ABOUT YOUR TEAM MATES: Best Dressed at Club: Sam Scott, looks good when out until about 4am and turns all fried egg on us. Again, flash…. sorry for stealing your missus Worst Dressed: David Mitchell, look Mitch those jeans don’t hide those wooden stilts you keep persisting to wear out. Most Annoying Player: Matt ‘The germ’ Hughes, go get that hip fixed Hughesy and get back on the track and show us how you use to be the second best footballer in year 7. the Fox has already done the whole Hughes injury saga. Worst or Messiest Player On The Drink: definitely not the worst, but when Bocca gets fiery I love it. Biggest Case Of White Line Fever: to follow things through is Mick O'Dea/ Shcroder-man and the Matthews brothers, boys stop punching people. Special mention to Mick Moloney, you would be relentless to play on. Name the Snakepits Pretty Boy: Jessey Creasey always good to be around when out. Knows where the fun is. Name the Snakepits Lady Starver: Wayno, now we all know u can pick up but I don’t know one person who has kissed probably over 250 girls (some 50 or more being 15 years and under) and have such a bad conversion rate. Go home re-evalute your sealing the deal methods and live true to your alias of Daniel ‘Melbournes little perv’ Igoe Name the Snakepits Nerdsky: Jolley aka bakers dozen, because he loves to flick a texty to a girl, his record is 307 msgs in one night. Nearly got the starver but always manages to pick up the scraps (alla puss birds alla stale pieces of bread from revolver) at the end of the night hence the now famous quote “flick her off to Jozza’’ Name the Snakepits Loosiest Player: hands down Frankie Hogan. I wish I could have been a fly on the wall at some of those footy trips in his prime (not that his prime is close to over.) Ox Jolley coming through the ranks. Best Skills: Joseph “the waffle maker” Indomencico. Marks like his 6’5 and kicks like he should fly helicopters in the army, hits targets though. But seriously Joffa I think you still left your shit down at falls, Harry Wilde called. Best Tackler: ‘Peaks and troughs’ Manunzio. Very Religious. I've seen that man take down men 4 times his size, never get hurt and still happy to punch through. Best Trainer: Caven but he's just never there. Best Footy Tripper/Worst Tripper: only been on one but best: Micky Kav provided constant entertainment even when not trying to. He also glorified a phrase/told a story that will live on forever “pig of a man”, please come back Mick. Worst -Pottsy for getting on that stage at the races, little did he know everyones attention was on Micky Kav who was putting on this ridiculous show doing this hilarious walk up the stairs, please come back Mick. Who Would Win a River Run: Ben Jordan, while juggling a successful chi 3 business Who Has the Best Rig: Andrew Stapleton, managed to maintain the same rig from under 14s through to seniors. Amazing his under 100kgs. Tate Pearson and Adam Matthews both fit the bill as well although the new father of the year has a bit of extra work now. Fav Snakepit Sideline Supporter: Bernie Comerford. Bernie I think you just broke that opposition players soul, and I love it. Who Has The Best Mrs: Stavros “munted Mario” Falcone. Meat axe also wins the award for person who loves their missus the most. Look Steve, its ok we know you love your missus and its alright. You deserve it. Senior B&F Tip: Luke Anthony Matthew O’Sullivan, taking comfort in the fact the minds of our youths are in this mans safe hands. Best First Year Player Award: Lachy McLeod .. Keep dropping a-bombs Lachy. Name Your Favourtie Mitchell: all of them expect minus the obvious kudos Mitchell (Clang) who still owes me that shit book we won together after the game the other week and Monty……sorry Gav, i'm a cat person. Who Would You Want Next To You if a Melee Started: I know whom I would not want next to me and that is Tom 'prince of Bernards’ Overman. Always manages to find an ATM that he ‘needs’ to go to whenever there is a slight sign of trouble. Also has a terrible ratio of punches thrown to punches received. Get the mits up prince. Who Gives the Best Cheapies on Saturdays: Simon Chatfield and Timebomb. Who Will Be Next Captain When Macca Retires: last time I saw Macca he was playing cricket in tramp in red predators doing a hell of a lot of work with a small sachin tendulkar type to little avail while Andy Kav and myself were yelling ‘howzat’ till for 3 hours till 7am. So, in saying this probably Caven. Finish the sentence, The Bazza is ... an achievement for a rookie, a battle midway, a death sentence last day. ONE WORD ANSWERS: Homer Simpson: fat London: dog Wayne Carey: naughty One Bar: dead Posh Beckham: cans Mick Overman: misunderstood Footy Trips: tests Buddy Franklin: 100 in a 100 Cab Drivers: stink Paris Hilton: movie Ramjet: what Xavs: Stapleton Tate Pearson: father Sam Newman: also naughty HOGI.12 ASKS YOU: Name 5 favourite sporting moments: 1) Back to back flags at Keilor 2) Kicking 10.7 in Miracle Mel Beyer's under 17’s 3) Scoring 121 n.o for Essendon seconds. 4) Taking 4 for 32 for Essendon seconds. 5) being the fastest at primary school from prep-grade 5 till Wayne beat me and stole my glory and my girlfriend. Name 5 least favourite sporting moments: 1) Making a golden duck in Essendon Seconds 2) Taking 0 for 140 runs in Essendon Seconds 3) Relegation 4) Having the worst Calder Cannons team target record in history. 5) Having the littlest impact at the Calder Cannons Football Club by any player, ever. Name 5 celebrities would invite to dinner and why: 1) Josef Fritzel – to hear his side of the story. 2) “Hollywood” – good for a chat I hear 3) Audrey Bitoni – Good actress. 4) Mrs Starr – Better actress than bitoni, except when there in the same movie. Name 5 celebrities you would not invite to dinner and why: 1) Richard Reed from the morning news. Why … cause his gay. 2) Anyone from the cast of slumdog millionaire 3) That woman from that glasses or optomistrist ad that moves her eyebrows constantly. Looks like a jerk. 4) Chris Hughes - because his famous in my eyes and is a pig of a man and snore like a dugong. Name 5 players from the club you would hit the town with and why: 1) Mario and Luigi - Joey Indo and Munz, always there for a long time and a bad time. and when those two get in hunt mode, it is quite a site. I feel sorry for Europe. 2) D Mac and Lossa – Mac to help us out of trouble. Los to help us get in trouble. 3) T. Overman and A. Stapo - Dawes only if I could reverse time and get him in his circa end of ‘06’ form. Stapo to get him out of those 4 walls. No one cares you’re an architect doo. 4) Jazza ‘the ox’ Jolley and stavros Forcone – ever reliable but have to keep him on his toes sometimes, although attracts puss birds though. Stavros 12 months ago .. joke Steve. But seriously. 5) George Garth – I like george … he's funny. Name 5 things that ANNOY you: 1) Westgate Wednesdays 2) Stravros Forcones meatball pancake. Are they meant to be that big? Steve I know a good doctor. 3) the Ascot Vale leisure centre ‘family’ 4) getting electrocuted 5) Wayne Igoe flailing his arms when he slows down in sprints at training as if his Usain Bolt. Wayne your not running that fast, you don’t need to use your arms as parachutes to slow yourself down. Name 5 things that you LOVE: 1) Thursdays (day after westgate wedensdays) 2) Tramp 3) Getting my veggies at the royal with jazza jolley. 4) Freddys awards. 5) Naughty America What do you look for in an ideal woman? Older women. Between 24 and 28 or 30 and 35. cant have been a lady boy or indian. Breathes, smells like lavender…. all the time. Who would you turn GAY for? I think some strange shit happened with the prince overman down at dogs beach house in Torquay the other year. All I know is that shit got reeaaaaaal weird when the cutlery set came out. Funniest thing seen or experienced on a footy trip? Anything Micky Kav does. That McDonalds incident in Brisbane. Frankie jumping off a 3 story balcony and getting saved by Mick O'Dea at the last second catching one of his legs. Have you seen or heard what has happened to FOXY HUGHES? All I know is that Foxy Hughes gets number 1 worst Hughes closely followed by Chris Hughes (that pig of a man) and that his over in Europe somewhere chasing skirt and taking years off his life, and as far as I'm concerned you can stay over there Fox. Upcoming cult hero at the club? To mix it up im going to choose Luigi Indomenico rather than ‘old peaks and troughs’ Manunzio. Forza Italia. Come home Joey, im bored. Finish the sentence: St. Bernard’s to me is … the place to be .. or is that Victoria?	'Fouldsy' 'Fouldsy' 'Fouldsy' 'Fouldsy' 'Fouldsy' 'Fouldsy'
ON THE COUCH WITH HOGI.12 - Miracle Mel Miracle Mel Beyer at his 50th with a dozen of his Captains starting from Luke Rogers (1992) through to Luke Larsen (2008)
PERSONAL FACTS: Name: Mel Beyer Nickname: Miracle Number: 42 Years at Bernard’s: 17 years Games Played: 2 (1 Warriors 1 Reserves age 39) Previous Clubs: South Melbourne Districts Where do you live with and with whom: Airport West with Deb Brothers/Sisters: 1 brother and 2 sisters Job: Insurance Broker Marital Status: Defacto Car: Commodore Name Top 3 Movies: Titanic, Revenge of the Nerds and Speed Fav TV Show: Simpsons and Two and a half Men Least Fav TV Show: Home & Away, Neighbours and Desperate Housewives Fav Actor: Bruce Willis Least Fav Actor: Woody Allan Fav Actress: Sharon Stone Least Fav Actress: Bette Davis Fav AFL Player: Sam Kekovich Least Fav AFL Player: James Hird Fav Football Commentator: Bruce McAvaney Least Fav Football Commentator: Gary Lyon and Danny Frawley Fav Sportsperson: Pat Cash Least Fav Sportsperson: Cathy Freeman Fav Meal: Veal Parma my way Fav Drink: What else – Carlton Draught Fav Night Spot: Mel Beyer on Fire at the Lincolnshire Pre Match Routine: Make sure your not hungover What Radio Station Do You Listen To When Driving: SEN If You Had Personalised Number Plates What Would They Be: MIRACLE ABOUT YOUR TEAM MATES: Best Dressed at Club: Ben Loughlin (in his St.Kevins blazer) Worst Dressed: Peter Nathan (Narts) in his 1975 VAFA jumper Most Annoying Player: Sinclair Johansen Worst or Messiest Player On The Drink: Hogi 12 Biggest Case Of White Line Fever: Michael O’Dea Name the Snakepits Pretty Boy: Jude Bolton Name the Snakepits Lady Starver: Jerome O’Brien Name the Snakepits Nerdsky: Julian Carlin Name the Snakepits Loosiest Player: Tate Pearson Best Skills: Tom Caven Best Tackler: Michael Downey (1992 U/16’s) Best Trainer: DEB Best Footy Tripper/Worst Tripper: Hogi 12 & Tyrone Sheehan when he got the bill Who Would Win a River Run: Michael Sullivan Who Has the Best Rig: Hogie 12 with piercing Fav Snakepit Sideline Supporter: Jim Taylor and Peter Nathan Who Has The Best Mrs: Me of course Senior B&F Tip: Lossa Best First Year Player Award: Michael Sullivan Name Your Favourtie Mitchell: All of them Who Would You Want Next To You if a Melee Started: Kevin Jones and Rio Who Gives the Best Cheapies on Saturdays: Not Scatters Who Will Be Next Captain When Macca Retires: Tom Caven Finish the sentence, The Bazza is … a good water boy ONE WORD ANSWERS: Homer Simpson: Monorail London: Foggy Wayne Carey: Briliant One Bar: Closed Posh Beckham: Loose Mick Overman: President Footy Trips: Bonding Buddy Franklin: Overrated Madonna: shallow Cab Drivers: Nasty Paris Hilton: Shallow Ramjet: space cadet Xavs: Powerhouse Tate Pearson: Premiership Sam Newman: Awesome HOGI.12 ASKS YOU: Name 5 favourite sporting moments: 1) 1993 under 16 premiership 2) 1994 under 16 premiership 3) 1998 under 17 premiership 4) 2005 under 17 premiership 5) 2009 250th smashed Beaumaris by 79 points Name 5 least favourite sporting moments: 1) 1997 under 17 1st semi loss 2) 1999 under 17 grand final defeat no-one wants to know you 3) 2004 under 17 elimination final loss 2 players forgot to turn up 4) 2008 under 16 preliminary final loss up by 4 goals half time 5) 1995 under 16 preliminary final loss 4 players didn’t play as St Albans too violent really crippled the side. Name 5 celebrities would invite to dinner and why: 1) Bruce Willis genuine nut case I reckon 2) Sharon Stone so I could interview her 3) Demi Moore GI Genius 4) Linda Lovelace so I could measure her throat 5) Peter Nathan find out more about club history and why he gave his own club up for drinking. Name 5 celebrities you would not invite to dinner and why: 1) Woody Allan 2) Bette Davis deceased 3) Scatters 98-9 too over the top 4) Jose Feliciano not my type of blind 5) Kylie Minogue Name 5 players from the club you would hit the town with and why: 1) Hogi out - drink him 2) Lossa him to 3) Sam Young good honest bloke 4) John Cribbin likes one or two 5) Premiership players so we can reminisce Name 5 things that you LOVE: 1) Sunday during footy season (coaching) 2) Saturday during footy season (stats/team manager ressies) 3) Spring carnival/ Warrnambool 4) AFL final series 5) Kangas Name 6 things that ANNOY you: 1) People who are not punctual 2) people who think they are never wrong 3) whinging insurance clients 4) players with inflated ego’s 5) committee meetings 6) scaffold, but getting used to it What do you look for in an ideal woman? Caring and compassionate. Who would you turn GAY for? Definitely no-one. Funniest thing seen or experienced on a footy trip? After being thrown into Sydney Harbour during the 1998 footy trip, getting back into boat and everyone jumping in cause they all would have been otherwise. Have you seen or heard what has happened to FOXY HUGHES? Still showing off his Under 17’s Best and Fairest 2001 trophy. I had the best of him as a coach (poor bastard) Upcoming cult hero at the club? Simon Caven Under 17’s centre half back 2009. Saddest Moment: The death of Tubby shocking tragedy. Was having a bet with him at the Linc on the day he died. Best Player: TBC after this weekend Miracles team of the half century: TBA after this weekend Finish the sentence: St. Bernard’s to me is ………. A place where you are made most welcome from whichever football club you have come from. Realistically as an individual you have to make the effort yourself to get on with the past, present and future players to have some sort of an impact on this club. If you don’t it will be you biggest regret. I can honestly say that by watching and working with parents who just come and go and fade into obscurity.	'Miracle' 'Miracle' 'Miracle' 'Miracle' 'Miracle'
ON THE COUCH WITH HOGI.12 - Salva
PERSONAL FACTS: Name: Mark Salvadori Nickname: Salva/Sponge Number: 6 Years at Bernard’s: 6 Games Played: 83 Previous Clubs: Doutta Stars(U16-U18) Maribyrnong Park (U10-U16) Where do you live with and with whom: Ascot Vale- Mum, Dad, Sister Brothers/Sisters: 1 Sister Job: VCAT-Admin Marital Status: Girlfirend, Samantha Car: Ford Falcon Name Top 3 Movies: The Castle, Green St Hooligans, Underworld Fav TV Show: Louis Theroux’s Weird Weekends Least Fav TV Show: Home and Away Fav Actor: Steve Carell Least Fav Actor: Daniel Radcliffe Fav Actress: Lisa McCune-for her outstanding performances as Maggie Doyle Least Fav Actress: Nicole Kidman Fav AFL Player: Bryce Gibbs Least Fav AFL Player: Paul Medhurst Fav Football Commentator: Dennis Commeti Least Fav Football Commentator: David Schwartz/Ricky Olorenshaw Fav Sportsperson: Lewis Hamilton Least Fav Sportsperson: Any Tottenham player Fav Meal: Mums Pasta Fav Drink: Canadian Club Fav Night Spot: Cheeky Monkeys Byron Bay Pre Match Routine: Wake up, watch some TV, eat and read paper, go to the ground. What Radio Station Do You Listen To When Driving: 3aw/Sen If You Had Personalised Number Plates What Would They Be: SPONGE ABOUT YOUR TEAM MATES: Best Dressed at Club: Joey Indo- The king is all class Worst Dressed: Bomber Most Annoying Player: Dutchy Worst or Messiest Player On The Drink: James Stapo Biggest Case Of White Line Fever: Timebomb Name the Snakepits Pretty Boy: Sammy Scott Name the Snakepits Lady Starver: Schrodes Name the Snakepits Nerdsky: Libba Name the Snakepits Loosiest Player: Munza, although Jake Foulds is sitting nicely to take the mantle on Munza’s departure Best Skills: Junior Best Tackler: Micky Maloney Best Trainer: Lossa Best Footy Tripper/Worst Tripper: Best-Hogi12, D-Mac Worst- I’m the last person to be naming worst footy trippers Who Would Win a River Run: BJ Who Has the Best Rig: Ian Wheeler Fav Snakepit Sideline Supporter: Foxy Hughes Who Has The Best Mrs: Hogi12 Senior B&F Tip: BJ Best First Year Player Award: was going to be Singa up until last week but young Sully would have to be a massive chance now Name Your Favourtie Mitchell: Monte Who Would You Want Next To You if a Melee Started: Timebomb Who Gives the Best Cheapies on Saturdays: Chatty /Bocca Who Will Be Next Captain When Macca Retires: Rock Caven Finish the sentence, The Bazza is ... the only time at a football club where you do not want to poll votes. ONE WORD ANSWERS: Homer Simpson: Doughnut London: Gooner Wayne Carey: Glassed Posh Beckham: Overrated Mick Overman: Woof Footy Trips: Dangerous Buddy Franklin: Hundred Madonna: Old Cab Drivers: Run Paris Hilton: Filthy Ramjet: Loose Xavs: Pricks Tate Pearson: Winner Sam Newman: Knowledgeable HOGI.12 ASKS YOU: Name 5 favourite sporting moments: 1) Northerly destroying Sunline in the 01/02 Cox Plates 2) Carlton’s 99 Preliminary Final Victory 3) Makybe Diva’s 3-peat 4) Everyone of Thierry Henry’s 226 Arsenal Goals 5) 2005 Under 19 match v Uni Blues, 53 points down in the 2nd quarter and we got up to win. Greg Wood = Supercoach! Name 5 least favourite sporting moments: 1) Round 18, 2007, Relegation. 2) Carlton’s 2002-2008 seasons (although we still won as many premierships in this time frame as Essendon and Collingwood) 3) 2003 Rugby World Cup Final 4) Would say anytime Tottenham beat Arsenal but they never do 5) Going to watch Bomber umpire Aberfeldie v Jacana U/14 match back in 2006 Name 5 celebrities would invite to dinner and why: 1) Darryl Braithwaite – For Tunes 2) Gordon Ramsey – To Cook 3) George Best- here’s just a couple of his quotes “I spent a lot of my money on booze, birds and fast cars - the rest I just squandered.” and “In 1969 I gave up women and alcohol and it was the worst 20 minutes of my life.” 4) Ana Ivanovic- Cause she is a brilliant tennis player 5) Jenifer Hawkins - Why wouldn’t you want her there? Name 5 celebrities you would not invite to dinner and why: 1) Wayne Swan - I would end up on assault charges 2) Bindi Irwin- More annoying then her father was 3) Tracey Grimshaw – Wouldn’t want to be in the same state as her let alone the same room 4) Fat bloke with the shit scarf off Masterchef - he wouldn’t only eat all the food he would criticise it as well 5) Newton Family including Mathew Welsh - cause Eages would probably be at the dinner and he has an immense hatred of them Name 5 players from the club you would hit the town with and why: 1) D-Mac- All round leader on and off the field. 2) Joel Egan - To film the evening’s proceedings to show the boys the next day at lunch 3) Jurra - For a positive ethnic influence 4) Nick Smith Jnr- For a level head and to attract the bouncer’s attention away from me 5) Foxy - Just in case Fox on the Run comes on. Name 5 things that you LOVE: 1) Winners Piss 2) Lawn Parties 3) Rumba Days 4) Travelling 5) Going to the TAB with my mates to have a freshie, punt and something to eat Name 5 things that ANNOY you: 1) Lateness 2) Losers Piss- Although ill still drink it 3) Rain on Derby Day 4) Umpires 5) Damo- for saying “ay” at the end of every sentence he speaks, next you know he will be lining up at the tattoo parlour- your turning into one of them Damien! What do you look for in an ideal woman? Schrodes is always telling us how he has a good eye when it comes to women and lately he's pretty keen on that Susan Boyle lady, so we'll go with something pretty close to that. Who would you turn GAY for? Adam Matthews. I think he would make a good poof. Funniest thing seen or experienced on a footy trip? Would have to be 2007 in Byron Bay where a very top heavy Brent "Straughnie" Runnals held off a fast finishing Ben "Cathy Freeman" Hogan in a 100 metre handicapped sprint. Honourable mention to Dane Evans in his mankini on a shopping centre roof (2-3 stories high) being circled by the Hobart Police with all the boys across the road in the pub watching. Have you seen or heard what has happened to FOXY HUGHES? Was called in to replace the divot he left at the Glenhuntly Rd end of Elsternwick Park after that fateful dropkick last September. It is taking longer to replace than first thought and the Fox should be finished in time for this year’s finals series. Upcoming cult hero at the club? Seeing as though Munza (or Man-a-zoo-a as the Old Camberwell president pronounces his name) is already the current cult hero of the club id suggest its going to take some pretty special efforts both on and off the field to take the mantle of cult hero off of Munz. Finish the sentence: St. Bernard’s to me is … A great football club going in the right direction on the rise back to where we belong.	'Salva' Salva
ON THE COUCH WITH HOGI.12
PERSONAL FACTS: Name: Alex Jolley Nickname: Jozza Number: had an array of numbers last yr but have settled with 5 Years at Bernard’s: 2 and a bit Games Played: 30 odd Previous Clubs: Strathmore Where do you live with and with whom: Strathmore, mum, dad and siblings Brothers/Sisters: older brother Ben and older sister Libby Job: Customer Service at Ascot Vale Marital Status: Single but looking for life partner Car: Honda Accord Name Top 3 Movies: Dark Knight, Step Brothers, Wedding Crashers Fav TV Show: Family Guy Least Fav TV Show: Medium Fav Actor: Will Ferrel Least Fav Actor: Andy Dick Fav Actress: Elizabeth Hurley Least Fav Actress: Kathy Bates Fav AFL Player: Joel Selwood Least Fav AFL Player: Dale Thomas Fav Football Commentator: Brian Taylor Least Fav Football Commentator: Bruce Fav Sportsperson: Usain Bolt Least Fav Sportsperson: Craig Mottram Fav Meal: pasta Fav Drink: Milo Fav Night Spot: Cubby House, Vinyl (once macca left) and everyones fav tramp Pre Match Routine: Up at 9, breakfast, triple J TV, newspaper What Radio Station Do You Listen To When Driving: Triple J of course If You Had Personalised Number Plates What Would They Be: JOZZ05 thanks hogi ABOUT YOUR TEAM MATES: Best Dressed at Club: Sam Scott Worst Dressed: if you asked me 6 months ago Jake Foulds hands down Most Annoying Player: no one this year, he left last year Worst or Messiest Player On The Drink: Bocca he gets a little dangerous Biggest Case Of White Line Fever: Pat Lambert Name the Snakepits Pretty Boy: Wayne Name the Snakepits Lady Starver: Lossa Name the Snakepits Nerdsky: Dutchy Name the Snakepits Loosiest Player: Hogi12 but young Jake Foulds is up and coming Best Skills: Libba or Dawes Best Hands: Briggas have you seen that man DJ those fingers are magic Best Tackler: Meataxe Best Trainer: Dawes Best Footy Tripper/Worst Tripper: tie hogi and M Kav/ Pottsy Who Would Win a River Run: BJ Who Has the Best Rig: A tie between Wayne and Stapo. Although Stapo is borderline too big Fav Snakepit Sideline Supporter: The Fox Who Has The Best Mrs: Meataxe Senior B&F Tip: Libba, Dawes or BJ, Josh Madden would have gone close Best First Year Player Award: Lachy Name Your Favourite Mitchell: I love them all except Clang Who Would You Want Next To You if a Melee Started: Chatty Who Gives the Best Cheapies on Saturdays: Chatty or Bocca Who Will Be Next Captain When Macca Retires: I don’t think Macca will retire he likes being captain too much Finish the sentence, The Bazza is ... a footy trip tradition but a curse to receive ONE WORD ANSWERS: Homer Simpson: yellow London: munza Wayne Carey: cocaine One Bar: scum Posh Beckham: rich Mick Overman: president Footy Trips: scary Buddy Franklin: champion Madonna: yuck Cab Drivers: international Paris Hilton: filthy Ramjet: canine Xavs: wankers Tate Pearson: sexy Sam Newman: pig (in a good way) HOGI.12 ASKS YOU: Name 5 favourite sporting moments: 1) Any Premiership I’ve played in 2) Winning the Ashes - good on ya cricket 3) Watching Michael Jordan anytime 4) WC v Sydney Grand Finals ’05 & ‘06 5) Usain Bolt in Beijing Name 5 least favourite sporting moments: 1) Losing in straight sets last year 2) Essendon losing to Carlton 1999 3) Any St Bernard’s Loss 4) Tate Pearson leaving 5) losing to Italy at the World Cup, what a travesty Name 5 celebrities would invite to dinner and why: 1) Donald Trump – pay for the meal 2) Will Ferrel - comedy 3) Jennifer Hawkins- Need I say more 4) Ben Cousins – After Party 5) Jenna Jamieson – dessert Name 5 celebrities you would not invite to dinner and why: 1) Mike Sheehan 2) Ian Thorpe 3) Hushesy and Kate 4) Karson Kresley 5) Kyle Sandilands Name 5 players from the club you would hit the town with and why: 1) Macca: I’m going to take him under my wing and show him the ropes of how to have a good time, I reckon he’s got the potential to go places down here 2) You can’t have one without the other so Indo and Munza; you boys are trouble. 3) Foxy Hughes; the sheer entertainment factor 4) Dawes during summer, the heat must do something to his brain, because he does some bad things 5) Tate Pearson: in his bad boy days Name 5 things that you LOVE: 1) Saturday nights 2) Picking up (that’s a rarity) 3) The terrible ten going to Thailand 4) Fish and Chips 5) A round of golf with Golden Bear and the Big Easy Name 5 things that ANNOY you: 1) Reality 2) Those “how well do you know me tests” on facebook. 3) The ad break in the footy on a Sunday (far too long) 4) St Bernard’s Cricket Club 5) People who wear jeans and runners - it’s the cardinal sin What do you look for in an ideal woman? Still breathing is a good start. Then well educated, smells nice, understands that Saturday night is spent with the boys and must have a mad rig. Hope I find one in Thailand Who would you turn GAY for? Daniel Craig; did you see him in Bond. Better rig than meataxe Funniest thing seen or experienced on a footy trip? For the sake of peoples integrity I can’t give away all the details, but it is as follows; a group of roughly 12 sitting at McDonald’s at 5.30am on the last day eating McFooty Trip meals and a middle aged Mexican man appeared… unfortunately I can’t go any further you’ll have to fill in the blanks yourself Have you seen or heard what has happened to FOXY HUGHES? All I can say is; if I won a grand final off my own boot I’d retire too… Upcoming cult hero at the club? Sully: A very good debut, a sound head on his shoulders and an excellent work rate. Will definitely become a future star for the club Finish the sentence: St. Bernard’s to me is … Is the best place to be on a Saturday afternoon at 5 o’clock, just ask Jake Foulds	'Jossa' 'Jossa' 'Jossa' 'Jossa' 'Jossa'
ON THE COUCH WITH HOGI.12
PERSONAL FACTS: Name: Xavier Cox Nickname: Coxy (or ‘the green man’ before midday on a footy trip) Number: Juniors – 12, Seniors – 48 this year Years at Bernard’s: This’ll be my 5th Games Played: 70 odd Previous Clubs: Douttas, Skev’s school footy Where do you live with and with whom: East Keilor with the olds, little sister and dog Brothers/Sisters: Older brother - Steve, younger sister - Emm Job: Student/Lifeguard Marital Status: Girlfriend Car: ’98 commedore wagon Name Top 3 Movies: 1. Snatch 2. Blood diamond 3. Lock, stock and two smoking barrels Fav TV Show: Two and a half men Least Fav TV Show: The View – anyone’s who’s been stuck at home during a week day will know my pain here Fav Actor: Brad Pit (snatch) Least Fav Actor: Steve Martin (pink panther – deserves to be shot for that effort) Fav Actress: Keira Knightley Least Fav Actress: Lindsay Lohan Fav AFL Player: Richo Least Fav AFL Player: Nick Maxwell – biggest hack going around, Collingwood supporters should feel ashamed he’s their captain, actually they should just feel ashamed in general. Fav Football Commentator: ? Least Fav Football Commentator: ? Fav Sportsperson: Matty Hayden Least Fav Sportsperson: Rafa – killing the sport of tennis Fav Meal: Nan’s lamb roast Fav Drink: Winners piss Fav Night Spot: Deck, no entry = key Pre Match Routine: Breaky at least 2hrs before the game, then get my hands on a pill as soon as possible What Radio Station Do You Listen To When Driving: Fox (hamish and andy – pure gold) If You Had Personalised Number Plates What Would They Be: Can think of better things to spend $600 on but if I had to – XAVCOX ABOUT YOUR TEAM MATES: Best Dressed at Club: Dave Rye always looks sharp Worst Dressed: BOM Most Annoying Player: Hogi with a lighter Worst or Messiest Player On The Drink: Mick O’Dea hands down Biggest Case Of White Line Fever: Tom Isaac Name the Snakepits Pretty Boy: Tate Pearson Name the Snakepits Lady Starver: Marty Byrne Name the Snakepits Nerdsky: Timmy Raff Name the Snakepits Loosiest Player: Fouldsy Best Skills: Tom O Best Tackler: Jesse Creasey Best Trainer: Lossa Best Footy Tripper/Worst Tripper: Best tripper - Dane Evans for taking me under his wing after that first bazza in Brisvegas Worst: Dwayne Evans – because I ended up in a matching floral cardigan and skirt at the racetrack later that same day Who Would Win a River Run: BJ Who Has the Best Rig: Adam Mathews Fav Snakepit Sideline Supporter: Snake Pearson Who Has The Best Mrs: Sammy Scott Senior B&F Tip: Libba – in some good form Best First Year Player Award: Lachy Mcleod Name Your Favourite Mitchell: Bocca Who Would You Want Next To You if a Melee Started: Irish, although he probably started it in the first place Who Gives the Best Cheapies on Saturdays: Chatty Who Will Be Next Captain When Macca Retires: Tom O Finish the sentence, The Bazza is … a quick cure for today’s hangover…..but a promise for an even better one tomorrow! ONE WORD ANSWERS: Homer Simpson: GOD London: Wet Wayne Carey: Freak One Bar: Terrible Posh Beckham: Two-balloons-strapped-to-a-stick,- maybe 3 if you count her head. Mick Overman: Genius Footy Trips: Gold Buddy Franklin: Fat ….? Madonna: 50 Cab Drivers: Runner Paris Hilton: Painful Ramjet: Wow Xavs: Great-name Tate Pearson: Machine Sam Newman: Shameless HOGI.12 ASKS YOU: Name 5 favourite sporting moments: 1) Warriors flag last year 2) Monday after the flag 3) Sitting on the finish line when Kathy brought home the gold in Sydney 4) 5 consecutive fours in yr 9 cricket (6th ball knocked over my middle stump) 5) 1 point win over Fitzroy Reds in last round of 2007 season U’19s Name 5 least favourite sporting moments: 1) Round one this year - Richmond vs Carlton 2) Jordan McMahon coming to Richmond 3) That Italian prick diving in the ’06 world cup 4) That other Italian prick converting the penalty 5) Warney leaving test cricket Name 5 celebrities would invite to dinner and why: 1) Keira Knightley – interesting and a stunner 2) Richo – love to meet the bloke 3) Matty Hayden – same as above 4) Wilbur Smith – if his books are anything to go by would have some great stories 5) Jennifer Hawkins – for the view Name 5 celebrities you would not invite to dinner and why: 1) Lleyton Hewitt – can’t stand the bloke 2) Bec Hewitt – for marrying the aforementioned person 3) Bert Newton – the reflection off his face would be too blinding 4) Shane Watson – wouldn’t want dinner to get interrupted by his next injury 5) Paris Hilton – because she wouldn’t pay the bill if I did Name 5 players from the club you would hit the town with and why: 1) Marty Byrne – does make everyone one else look good on a dance floor 2) Timmy Raff – great value and always good for a tip jar 3) A. Smith – level head 4) Lossa – not so level head 5) D Mac – can talk his way in or out of anything or anywhere Name 5 things that you LOVE: 1) Chocolate 2) Beers with mates or family 3) Mum’s cooking 4) Playing sport 5) Reading a good book Name 5 things that ANNOY you: 1) Shit drivers 2) Smokers 3) Impatient people 4) Skim/light/no-fat milk 5) The ‘normal’ weekly fuel price cycle What do you look for in an ideal woman? Good body and must be easy to get along with. Can’t stand girls who play mind games. Who would you turn GAY for? Eddie Murphy, if you’re turning gay may as well go the full ‘measure’. Funniest thing seen or experienced on a footy trip? Hogi trying to set that randoms shirt on fire for the tenth time and the bloke taking a swing at him with 30 snowdogs standing around him – smart bloke! Have you seen or heard what has happened to FOXY HUGHES? He’s been recruited to punt in the NFL after a scout saw his performance in last years Grand Final. Upcoming cult hero at the club? Munza Finish the sentence: St. Bernard’s to me is … the home of football!	Coxy Coxy Coxy Coxy Coxy

PERSONAL FACTS: Name: Simon Cave Nickname: Bomber Number: Don’t really have one, keeping 35 warm for ‘Winner’ this year Years at Bernard’s: In my 3rd Games Played: roughly 40 Previous Clubs: Strathmore then was an umpire Where do you live with and with whom: Strathmore Heights with mum and co Brothers/Sisters: 1 twin sister and younger brother Job: Account Coordinator at Yakka Marital Status: I have a GF Car: Toyota Camry Name Top 3 Movies: The last samurai, top gun, full metal jacket Fav TV Show: Boston Legal Least Fav TV Show: Buffy and neighbours Fav Actor: Liam Neeson see taken and you will know why Least Fav Actor: Leonardo DiCaprio Fav Actress: Kate Blanchett Least Fav Actress: Zac Efron Fav AFL Player: Patrick Ryder Least Fav AFL Player: Travis Cloke (Pretender) Fav Football Commentator: Dennis Least Fav Football Commentator: Kevin Bartlett (his rules ruin football) Fav Sportsperson: Adam Gilchrist Least Fav Sportsperson: Nadal and his gay shorts Fav Meal: Chicken snitzel & salad Roll Fav Drink: Becks Fav Night Spot: Anywhere when I actually go out Pre Match Routine: Shower, breakfast, game What Radio Station Do You Listen To When Driving: NA listen to my IPOD If You Had Personalised Number Plates What Would They Be: HURYUP (this would be for all the lunatic drivers who plague our roads) ABOUT YOUR TEAM MATES: Best Dressed at Club: Sam Scott Worst Dressed: Macca runners and jeans don’t look to flash Most Annoying Player: all good blokes Worst or Messiest Player On The Drink: Would know if I went out more Biggest Case Of White Line Fever: Boc Name the Snakepits Pretty Boy: Judda always looks sharp Name the Snakepits Lady Starver: Lossa think he tries to hard… Name the Snakepits Nerdsky: Dutchy hides it well behind his committee duties Name the Snakepits Loosiest Player: All the young guns… Best Skills: Libba Best Tackler: Steve Forcone Best Trainer: Lossa Best Footy Tripper/Worst Tripper: Never been might find out this year Who Would Win a River Run: BJ or Tom overman those two just keep going and going Who Has the Best Rig: Salva Fav Snakepit Sideline Supporter: Hughsey, anyone with that much passion is a true supporter in my eyes. Who Has The Best Mrs: Chisel batting way above his average Senior B&F Tip: Tom Overman in a photo from BJ and Libba Best First Year Player Award: Singa Name Your Favourtie Mitchell: is that a rhetorical question? Who Would You Want Next To You if a Melee Started: Adam Matthews Who Gives the Best Cheapies on Saturdays: Boc Who Will Be Next Captain When Macca Retires: Libba Finish the sentence .. ‘The Bazza is … apparently a good cure for a hangover ONE WORD ANSWERS: Homer Simpson: Donuts London: Churchill Wayne Carey: Gun One Bar: Wogs Posh Beckham: Love to Mick Overman: Leader Footy Trips: Pain Buddy Franklin: Average Madonna: Ugly Cab Drivers: Sub-continent Paris Hilton: Movie star Ramjet: marvel Xavs: Wankers Tate Pearson: Father Sam Newman: Intelligent HOGI 12 ASKS YOU: Name 5 favourite sporting moments: 1) Winning Cricket 1stXI Flag 2) Rain Gauge winning MV cup 3) Serena Williams winning the Australian Open 4) Any time Essendon beats Carlton 5) Australia winning the Rugby world cup in France Name 5 least favourite sporting moments: 1) Watching the Italian take a dive 2) 1999 Prelim 3) Going out in straight sets last year 4) Savabeel winning the Cox Plate 5) Making a duck in last years cricket grand final Name 5 celebrities would invite to dinner and why: 1) Ferran Adrià to cook 2) Pete Murray to sing after dinner 3) Winston Churchill … look up his quotes and you will know why 4) Jennifer Hawkins something to look at 5) Kerry Packer to pay for dinner /booze and tell stories of his shady dealings Name 5 celebrities you would not invite to dinner and why: 1) Zac Effron is the star in the worst movies ever created 2) Gordan Ramsey he is full of shit 3) Kevin Rudd he would attack the waitress 4) Ken Pope is ruining jumps racing 5) Andrew Demetriou he is killing football. Name 5 players from the club you would hit the town with and why: 1) Lossa to watch him try and pick up every woman in sight 2) Junior to talk sport 3) Smithy to stand at the bar and talk to 4) Schroder is bound to do something crazy 5) Chick for artistic entertainment when he pirouettes off a building Name 5 things that you LOVE: 1) Sport 2) Chicken Snitzel Roll 3) Horse Racing 4) St Bernards 5) Watching BJ get 50 possessions a game Name 5 things that ANNOY you: 1) Losing 2) Slow drivers 3) People who don’t listen 4) People who listen but still don’t follow instructions 5) Bank Fees What do you look for in an ideal woman? A clone of my girlfriend…. Who would you turn GAY for? Anthony Hopkins such a genius.. Have you seen or heard what has happened to FOXY HUGHES? Last I heard he was locked up for destruction of public property after he threw three massage tables, eight chairs and pulled down a wall at Elsterwick Park when we lost to Essendon Grammar last year. Upcoming cult hero at the club? Munza he is just in everything… Finish the sentence: St. Bernard’s to me is … My second home where I continue to create history with my team mates.	. Bomber Cave H&C Lambert Medalist 2009 Bomber

PERSONAL FACTS: Name: Steve Mitchell Nickname: BOCA Number: 4 Years at Bernard’s: 15 + Games Played: Thousands Previous Clubs: FDFL rep team Where do you live with and with whom: Moonee Ponds, soon to be Kensington Brothers/Sisters: 4 brothers- Clanga, Milky, Chippy & Bubby Job: Nab Capital Foreign Exchange Marital Status: Single Car: V8 Sonata- “Ron Burgundy” Name Top 3 Movies: The Departed & Anchorman Fav TV Show: Entourage, The Shield & Racing Retro Least Fav TV Show: Today Tonight & The Biggest Loser Fav Actor: Jeremy Piven (Ati Gold) Least Fav Actor: Tom Cruise & Leonardo Di Caprio Fav Actress: Cameron Diaz & Charlize Theron Least Fav Actress: Roseanne & Tara Reid Fav AFL Player: Jonathon Brown Least Fav AFL Player: Darren Milburn & Max Rooke Fav Football Commentator: Triple M Least Fav Football Commentator: The channel 7 team Fav Sportsperson: Jonathon Brown, James Hird, Craig Mottram & Kostya Tsyzu Least Fav Sportsperson: Anthony Mundine & Ricky Ponting Fav Meal: Chicken Parma with chips and salad or a Triple Oporto burger Fav Drink: Pure Blonde pot with handle from the Linc or Bacardi and Coke Fav Night Spot: Deck & Linc Pre Match Routine: breakfast, television & newspaper What Radio Station Do You Listen To When Driving: Triple J If You Had Personalised Number Plates What Would They Be: SM1983 ABOUT YOUR TEAM MATES: Best Dressed at Club: Alex Jolley always looks well presented Worst Dressed: Pat Harris Most Annoying Player: Josh Madden Worst or Messiest Player On The Drink: Dane Evans Biggest Case Of White Line Fever: Pat Harris Name the Snakepits Pretty Boy: Jesse Creasy Name the Snakepits Lady Starver: Lossa Name the Snakepits Nerdsky: Tom Caven Name the Snakepits Loosiest Player: Fouldsy Best Skills: Libba Best Tackler: Micky Kav. Does he still play? Best Trainer: Couple of new ones showing potential, just not sure of names Best Footy Tripper/Worst Tripper: Best- Hogi & Micky Kav. Worst- clanga Who Would Win a River Run: BJ Who Has the Best Rig: Adam Matthews although very top heavy Fav Snakepit Sideline Supporter: Snake Who Has The Best Mrs: By all reports Sam Scott Senior B&F Tip: BJ Best First Year Player Award: Lachy Name Your Favourite Mitchell: Monty Who Would You Want Next To You if a Melee Started: Chatty Who Gives the Best Cheapies on Saturdays: Schrodes & myself Who Will Be Next Captain When Macca Retires: Dawsey or Tom Caven Finish the sentence, The Bazza is ... An honour to wear. However 2 days in a row is cruel. ONE WORD ANSWERS: Homer Simpson: Gold London: Cold Wayne Carey: Disappointing One Bar: Disgraceful Posh Beckham: Dog Mick Overman: Woof Footy Trips: Tough Buddy Franklin: Role Model Madonna: Gone Cab Drivers: Runner Paris Hilton: Genius Ramjet: Dog Tate Pearson: Beautiful Sam Newman: Irritating HOGI.12 ASKS YOU: Name 5 favourite sporting moments: 1) St Bernards School footy ACC wins 2 years in a row 2) Essendon 2001 grand final win 3) Seeing Kostya Tszyu beat Leija at Telstra Dome. 4) Maykbe Diva Cox Plate- MORAL! Had a good night afterwards… I think 5) Perkins 1500m in the Olympics Name 5 least favourite sporting moments: 1) Essendon losing the 2002 grandfinal 2) Melbourne Storm losing the 2008 grand final 3) Craig Mottram falling at the Commonwealth games 4) St Bernards School’s defeats to Assumption in the Herald Sun Comp 5) Any defeats for ST.B.O.C.F.C Name 5 celebrities would invite to dinner and why: 1) James Hird- great player and a cool man 2) Andrew Johns- great player and would have a few stories to tell 3) Jonathon Brown- great player and loves the sauce 4) Jennifer Hawkins- lover her! 5) Colbie Caillat. Hot and plays a guitar. Name 5 celebrities you would not invite to dinner and why: 1) Bindi Irwin- prob a bit tough but just can’t stand her 2) Hughesy & Kate. Just not funny 3) Pink. Painful! 4) George Bush. Idiot! 5) Robbie Williams. Smoker! Name 5 players from the club you would hit the town with and why: 1) Nick Smith Jnr- solid performer 2) DMAC- good nightclubber 3) John Harvey- tells me he’s in very good form of late 4) Andrew Smith- concrete boots 5) Jake Foulds- always expect the unexpected when he’s round Name 5 things that you LOVE: 1) Winning premierships 2) Public Holidays 3) Melee’s 4) Lawn parties 5) Staying up late Name 5 things that ANNOY you: 1) Losing footy 2) 3 legs of the quaddie 3) Hughesy & Kate 4) Tight jeans 5) Fluro What do you look for in an ideal woman? Tall, good looking with a good personality. And willing to pick me up from the club when ive been wearing the concrete boots. Who would you turn GAY for? It was Nathan Basaraba from a few years back; he just had the most impressive head of hair you have ever seen, but in the last few years it’s Tate. I never met anyone treat their body with more respect than him. Funniest thing seen or experienced on a footy trip? Hogi dragging “flipperacino” into our room at Byron Bay a few years back. “Flippercino” didn’t seem to handle the occasion and soiled himself. However, Hogi the gentleman he is, showered him and sent him back home. Funny yet a bit disturbing. Have you seen or heard what has happened to FOXY HUGHES? I have heard that he has a couple of “sneakies” on the side, yet won’t tell anyone. A couple of the boys met them one night at Jimmy Rowes and said they were quite good. Why the secrets fox? Upcoming cult hero at the club? Jake Foulds. Has had a massive pre-season and seems primed for a big year. Finish the sentence: St. Bernard’s to me is … A great place to be all the time, especially after a win.	'Boca" 'Boca" 'Boca"

Personal Facts: Name: Joey Indomenico Nickname: “Indo”, “King, thanks libatron” Age: 20 Footy Number: the whole kit this year, 5, 6, 12, 16 but usually 15 Years at Bernard’s: 4 Games Played: 60+ Previous Clubs: Abers Where do you live with and with whom: Moonee Ponds Bandit with mum, dad, brother and dave mitches best mate ice the superdog. Job: Full time student 15 hours a week. Someone’s got to do it. Marital Status: Single Car: Used to be the red dragon may she rest in peace, now its blue steel. AFL Team: Essendon Fav AFL Player: Hodge or Judd Fav Movie: Toss up between oldskool, anchorman or starsky and hutch. Fav Actor: Will ferrell aka matt marian or ben stiller Fav TV Show: 2 and a half men Fav Sportsperson: The King Wayne Carey, Fav Meal/Drink: Anyone of mums dinners. She’s good with a spatula. Fav Night Spot: Cookie, St Jerome’s or Q Bar. I hear munza is a genius when it comes to those booths in cookie. If You Had Personalised Number Plates What Would They Be: Wouldn’t get them. I like the suspense of not knowing what you’re going to get at vic roads. Routine Before Match: jtv. Weatbix and nutragrain. Put the ipod on and wait for a lift. About Your Teamates: Best Dressed at Club: Would have to be poTATEo cake pearson. Who can pull off purple shoes? Better still who knows where to get them from? He must read the articles. Patty Harris has got some style aswell. Worst Dressed: The 2can bird has seen enough please Most Annoying Player: This bloke Geoff. He keeps popping up on the taping list. Your not funny mate. Funniest Player at Club: Loss or Micky Kav. Worst or Messiest Player On The Drink: MAZZ by a furlong. Who poor’s beers down a hole in the wall at a friends 21st and blames a busted water pipe. Biggest Case Of White Line Fever: FOULDS or Mick Maloney respect Name the Snakepits Pretty Boy: Justin Fistrovic, his hair is always perfect and his facial hair is grown to precision Name the Snakepits Lady Starver: Lately I hear all the boys are doing very well. A wise man told us women like guys who play in finals!!! Name the Snakepits Nerdsky: Damo Iannazzo. Nazzo can you please get us the passwords for the pool computers in the morning. I’m sick of trying to hack into them. Give us a chop out Its been 2 years now and its only your part time job. Name the Snakepits Loosiest Player: The Dog (Chris Hughes) look at his shirt the next day or your inbox from the night before Name a Sport Skipper MACCA Cannot Play: Kendo, maybe ask my dad at Anglesea preseason camp. Favourite Bernards Player: all of them. Geniuses Most Underated: Jess Creasy. Most Overated: Please. In the words of S. Madden “I’d back our 22 against anyone” Best Foot Skills: Dawes Best Hand Skills: Hogi 12 Best Grab: When we can kick to him Stapo “stickymitz” Best Tackler: Munzanatis Best Trainer on the Track: george, is he playing or training? Best Footy Tripper/Worst Tripper Best: on last years performance Dawes was something special. Worst: Dutchy, put that hoss of yours away. Who Would Win a River Run: Shagger, I still have vivid memories of the college dash. Who Has the Best Rig: Adam Matthews or Tate Who's Mrs/Sister Would You Love To Take Out For Dinner: Sam Scott’s or any one of the wives from the legends day. Will Tait ‘PUMPA’ Wilkinson Ever Wear a St.Bern Jumper Again: Would be good if he did, he had good playlists for before the games. Who Would You Want Next To You if a Melee Started: Schrodes and Tony Schrodes Who Would/Would Not You Want To Room With On a Footy Trip? Hopefully a local so I wouldn’t have to sleep with any of the boys. Who is Your Favourite Snakepit Sideline Supporter John Radcliffe or Peter Hogan. Their all very good though. Who is Your Least Favourite Snakepit Sideline Supporter None of them. Who Gives the Best Cheapies on Saturdays: Schrodes, Chaddy, Bocca or Tate when he doesn’t want to hit his own teammates. You’re a dogs dog tate. What Player Would Get a Game in the St.Bernards Cricket First X1 Dawes keeps talking himself up. By the way give back wayno’s bat, yeah I know!!! Prediction for the 3rd Annual 20/20 Cricket Match Who cares just get the decks going again and put on cheap drinks, everyone’s a winner. Finish the sentence, The BAZZA is … a misunderstood award, just ask Matt Marian about his motivation to win it last year with his head in the lockers every morning not listening to anyone bar himself. Hogi Asks You 12 The Best: 5 favourite sporting moments: 1) Anthony Andrezejewski- 7X Brother Collopy Walsh Medal Winner. You think Michael Phelps is good in the pool you should of seen this kid. Forget about the blokes who should have done this or could have done that, this is the true St Bernards College heartbreak story. 2) Socceroos qualifying for the 06 world cup and beating Japan, sorry Yoshi 3) Watching Makybe Diva win the cox plate from 14 wide at the valley and only having $5 on it. SMARTS 4) U12 A Grand Final beating a little wog named munz by 1 point. 5) Liverpool Champions League. 3-0 down half time and winning. 5 least favourite sporting moments: 1) Relegation. 2) Loosing the Ashes. 3) Getting beaten in last years U/19 grand final. 4) Loosing the next 2 grand finals to a little wog named Munz. 5 celebrities would invite to dinner and why: 1) Sienna Miller, have you seen her in alfie? 2) Laura Dundovic, google and you will see… 3) Kelly Slater, to hear his thoughts on life. 4) Liam Gallagher, watch live forever and you will no why. He can play some tracks over a wine after dinner. 5) Kate Beckinsdale, watched click the other week, very nice woman. 5 celebrities you would not invite to dinner and why: 1) Bruce McAvaney, words cannot describe my dislike for this man. 2) Any pop boy band member, the question is why would you invite them? There should be a law against them expressing themselves creatively. We know they hate their family, stop making trivial music about it. 3) Any pop girl band member or artist that make terrible music, See my perspective on law amendment’s that should be made above. What do you look for in an ideal woman? Good personality that can hold a conversation, funny and attractive Describe your best weekend in the last 12 months? It would have to be the Sydney trip I did last year with a few of my mates. It had everything, meeting the chick presenter of video hits and watching her try to film while all of us were throwing shit at the cameraman. Mazz getting locked up and asking the cops to take him back to East Keilor. Their response was booting him 20 meters down the road. Going to the Derby Day lawn enclosure (a must do for anyone who likes fun), seeing the chick from video hits again and trying to suck up to her. Watching my mate ruin a relationship of this couple and then calling the husband and telling him what had happened, harsh but fair. Seeing the boys get a “$2 Parking” sign off this poor kid holding it up on the corner, watching the boys give them selves high fives after doing it and then seeing a 120kg Maori bloke run and shirt front them all, hilarious Name 5 players from the club you would hit the town with? 1) Schrodes. Just to see if he could mix it with the big boys. 2) George. He is a smooth operator, would be a great mentor for any young kid who’s just starting to hit the town. 3) The Dog, when you think your pissed just look out to see the dog, you're sober!!! 4) Munz. Loves going peach picking and enjoys a red or 2. 5) Jozza. This man can have fun, just ask Grant Smiley at prince. Funniest thing seen or experienced on a footy trip? Anything from watching D-Mac in all his glory on any of the days. Dawes climbing into the mounting yard at the races and replying to the stewards when asked “what he are you doing in here? I'm the substitute trainer”. He was then escorted out very quickly to our dismay. His night then consisted of hanging outside the window dancing while looking at all of us have fun. If you had to take out one of the following persons out for dinner who would it and who wouldn’t it be and why? Choose from SCATTERS, MEL’miracle’ BEYER, PAUL GARTH, ANDREW BYRSON, SNAKE PEARSON, JOHHNY RAFFLE or JIMMY ‘the bear’ Would have to be Snake Pearson, genius of a man who loves the club. You just won $1 million, how would you spend it? 20,000 to footy trip straight up. Buy an apartment in South Yarra or Hawthorn and throw a massive house warming. Hire some cleaners and painters for the next day. I would then catch a flight over to Europe. Start a trek from the Greek islands then go all the way through Europe ending up in Morocco buying some silk to pawn. Upcoming cult hero at the club and why? Jake Foulds. If he can string some games together and stay out of the tribunal I can see him tearing games apart come 2 pm down the pit. Finish the sentence: St. Bernard’s to me is … where I will hang up my boots and win an A grade flag with all of my mates.	'Indo" 'Indo" 'Indo" 'Indo" 'Indo" 'Indo" 'Indo"
Personal Facts: Name: Simon Chatfield Nickname: Chatty Age: 33 Footy Number: What ever Mel gives me. Years at Bernard’s: Can’t remember Games Played: Not Sure Previous Clubs: West Preston Lakeside Where do you live with and with whom: North Melbourne, Melissa, Charli and Digga Job: Carpenter Marital Status: See Above Car: Toyota Hilux AFL Team: Carlton Fav AFL Player: Gibbs Fav Movie: Beat Street Fav Actor: Denzel Washington Fav TV Show: Dexter Fav Sportsperson: Michael Jordan Fav Meal/Drink: Teppanyaki / Green cordial Fav Night Spot: Brown Alley/ Colonial Hotel If You Had Personalised Number Plates What Would They Be: Who in their right mind would have personalised plates. Routine Before Match: Work About Your Teamates: Best Dressed at Club: There are a lot that think they are up with fashion. Worst Dressed:Anyone who wears those shit slip on canvas shoes. Not cool. Most Annoying Player: I think this could be me. Otherwise Dutchy but I do love him for it. Funniest Player at Club: Mick Kav Worst or Messiest Player On The Drink:You know the answer to that… ben. Biggest Case Of White Line Fever: Foxy Name the Snakepits Pretty Boy:Tate Pearson for sure. However I think Clanger is a little jealous and would love this to be him. Name the Snakepits Lady Starver: Fouldsy tells me he goes alright. Name the Snakepits Nerdsky: Simon Cave. He actually likes Netball. Name the Snakepits Loosiest Player: Johnno from what I have seen. Hogan you are still legend. Name a Sport Skipper MACCA Cannot Play: Not sure there is one. Favourite Bernards Player: Can’t deside I’ll give you in no order. Pearson,Shroder,Tom Overman,Bok,Mick Kav,DMac, Roach, Indo, Most Underated: Smith boys Most Overated: Have one in mind but don’t want offend anyone Best Foot Skills: Roach Best Hand Skills: Time Bomb ?? Best Grab: Pottsy and Roach. Best Tackler: Grant Bessagio Best Trainer on the Track: Tom Overman Best Footy Tripper/Worst Tripper N/A The last St.Bern footy trip I went on there were no current players. Who Would Win a River Run: Put money on chicka. Who Has the Best Rig: Pearson - did he ask you to put this question in? Who's Mrs/Sister Would You Love To Take Out For Dinner: Well I was thinking of yours to get an insight into the Hogan mind but after last weekend I think Caylee Ibbs as she loves a drink. Will Tait ‘PUMPA’ Wilkinson Ever Wear a St.Bern Jumper Again: Doubtful. Past his prime. Who Would You Want Next To You if a Melee Started: Anyone not worried about the repercussions. Who Would/Would Not You Want To Room With On a Footy Trip You Ben as I’ve heard you have some bad habits. See also Blunt and M Kav. Who is Your Favourite Snakepit Sideline Supporter The Bear Who is Your Least Favourite Snakepit Sideline Supporter Can’t say her son’s may get upset. She has 3. Who Gives the Best Cheapies on Saturdays:There are few boys out there. You know who you are. What Player Would Get a Game in the St.Bernards Cricket First X1 G Love Prediction for the 3rd Annual 20/20 Cricket Match Against G Love to go on a holiday and therefore lose the game for the cricket club. Finish the sentence, The BAZZA is some thing I have only heard of. A requirement for a poor performance isn’t it ? Hogi Asks You 12 The Best: 5 favourite sporting moments: 1) A Grade premiership at West Preston 2) All winning final series I have ever played in. 3) Completing an Oxfam 100 km 4) Playing In Hearld Sun winning final on The MCG. 5) Playing B’ball in America 6) Just winning never remember 2nd place. 5 least favourite sporting moments: 1) Being involved in B grade VAFA 2) Losing Grand Final in 2000 at West Preston. 3) Losing any game of sport I have ever played. 5 celebrities would invite to dinner and why: 1) Meagan Gale 2) Kelly Rowland 3) Nelly Furtado 4) Alicia Keys 5) Alyssa Millano ... Need I give you a reason? 5 celebrities you would not invite to dinner and why: 1) Hughesy and Kate. They just suck. 2) Anthony Hudson Absolutely no idea about anything and always buts in while others are talking. 3) Caroline Wilson Over opinionated on topics she dosen’t understand. 4) Lehmo Tries to hard to be funny. It just dosen’t come naturally. 5) Any B grade celeb see above. What do you look for in an ideal woman? Got one no need to look. Describe your best weekend in the last 12 months? Haven’t had one yet. I’m saving it for the VAFA finals that we all have to be playing in. Name 5 players from the club you would hit the town with? 1) Kav brothers great value for money. 2) Joshy Madds Doesn’t know the word stop or can’t or no thanks. 3) Indo and Munzza These two together anything can happen and does. 4) Garthy - Got to have a singer willing to get up and sing. 5) DMac - Absolute stayer will be there dawn till dusk and some. Funniest thing seen or experienced on a footy trip? Well back in 1996 …… Enough said. If you had to take out one of the following persons out for dinner who would it and who wouldn’t it be and why? Choose from SCATTERS, MEL’miracle’ BEYER, PAUL GARTH, ANDREW BYRSON, SNAKE PEARSON, JOHHNY RAFFLE or JIMMY ‘the bear’ I Would take snake pearson as unlike his son enjoys a good drop of red or beer and can handle it. I wouldn’t take Andrew Byrson as he is no longer around the club and we all know how he gets when drinking. You just won $1 million, how would you spend it? Well I’d share it with friends of course. Upcoming cult hero at the club and why? Well I think this guy is already there - Jesse Munnzio out and out great fella. Finish the sentence: St. Bernard’s to me is a place to finish my football career and a place where it all began. Love it!	'Chatty' Chatty 'on fire' 'Chatty' Chatty 'on fire' 'Chatty' Chatty 'on fire'
Personal Facts: Name: Chris Liberatore Nickname: Libba, Libbatron (thanks Indo) Age: 23 Footy Number: 7 Years at Bernard’s: 13 Games Played: 90-something plus Juniors Previous Clubs: Played school footy at St Kevs (hate those blokes) Where do you live with and with whom: Essendon with mum and the kids Job: Student Marital Status: I think everyone knows you’d have to be more than patient to marry me Car: ‘87 Ford Laser on its last legs AFL Team: Western Bulldogs Fav AFL Player: Brad Johnson Fav Movie: Fight Club Fav Actor: Al Pacino Fav TV Show: Seinfeld Fav Sportsperson: Michael Jordon Fav Meal/Drink: Nanna Libratore’s Lasagna and a pot of Carlton Fav Night Spot: Wherever that Dale bloke is…. If You Had Personalised Number Plates What Would They Be: LIBBA7 Routine Before Match: Wake up, feed the chooks, find something for breakfast, ring George for a lift and play the waiting game. At the game watch plenty of the 2’s game usually with Tommy Caven til 3 qtr time and get ready just before we have to go. About Your Teamates: Best Dressed at Club: Tommy ‘Roy Orbison’ Caven Worst Dressed: Josh Madden, how many shit shirts can one man have Most Annoying Player: Salva, thank god there’s only one of him Funniest Player at Club: Lossa when he punches on with Scatters over a free beer Worst or Messiest Player On The Drink: Being mates with Dwayne Evans lets you into a world you wish you didn’t have access to Biggest Case Of White Line Fever: Bocca and Schrodes, too close to call Name the Snakepits Pretty Boy: Tate Pearson Name the Snakepits Lady Starver: The Fox Name the Snakepits Nerdsky: George Garth, did you know he’s a computer programmer Name the Snakepits Loosiest Player: Gotta be chicka, who’s gonna fill the void?? Name a Sport Our Skipper MACCA Cannot Play: My nan kicked his arse at Mahjong the other day Favourite Bernards Player: INDO-AAHHH, always the King in my book Most Underated: James Flannery, will play 1’s next year Most Overated: Brent Ceasar Best Foot Skills: Shagga, and has 40 a week Best Hand Skills: Tom Overman Best Grab: Tom Caven, love playing across half back when he floats across and saves your arse Best Tackler: Micky Kav everyday of the week Best Trainer on the Track: Lossa Best Footy Tripper/Worst Tripper Best – Pottsy seems to be in his element and can’t wait to see A Smith and rookie Chatty this year. Worst – Salva and anyone with Mitchell as a last name Who Would Win a River Run: Blunty or Dane (not Dwayne) Evans back in his day Who Has the Best Rig: Jack Harvey coz it would be warm and soft like a sheepskin Whos Mrs/Sister Would You Love To Take Out For Dinner: Any Mrs Tate Pearson has ever had. Although, did you see some of 19’s glamours on the boat cruise? PHHOOAAHH Will Tait ‘PUMPA’ Wilkinson Ever Wear a St.Bernards Jumper Again and Why: Maybe in a few years when the Jordan’s, Danny Byrne, Harvey, Turtle and the rest come back Who Would You Want Next To You if a Melee Started: Probably D-Mac, best captain when it comes to backing up his troops. Maybe Bocca, but he probably started it anyway Who Would/Would Not You Want To Room With On a Footy Trip Would – Evo’s always good for a laugh. Wouldn’t – Clang would do nothing but Shit ya! Who is Your Favourite Snakepit Sideline Supporter They’re all great but some of the things Bernie Comerford comes up with…. Who is Your Least Favourite Snakepit Sideline Supporter Scatters coz he runs the club too much like a business Who Gives the Best Cheapies on Saturdays: If you don’t know why Micky Kav is such a good tagger…. What Player Would Get a Game in the St.Bernards Cricket First X1 If Tommy Godsell can kick a goal from halfway surely he can smack a few sixes Prediction for the 3rd Annual 20/20 Cricket Match Bernards by that much you’ll see the first ever follow on in 20/20 cricket Finish the sentence, The BAZZA is … RESPECT and lifetime of fun when mixed with ouzo Hogi Asks You 12 The Best: 5 favourite sporting moments: 1) Under 19’s Undefeated Premiership in ‘03 2) Watching the Aussies in Germany comeback 3-1 victory 3) St. Theresa’s beating St. Vincents in 1996 Primary school Grand Final. They’re still whinging. I’m with you Hughesy, heard you wre best on that day 4) Damien Fleming’s 10-pin bowling effort in the World Cup ’99 victory over South Africa 5) When Essendon went undefeated in 2000, oh no, that’s right doggies beat them in round 21! 5 least favourite sporting moments: 1) Losing A Grade Granny in ‘04 2) Dogs losing ’97 Prelim final 3) Relegation 4) Italy stealing victory off the Aussies in the World Cup 5) Losing the Ashes in England a few years ago 5 celebrities would invite to dinner and why: 1) Mirranda Kerr - peach 2) Shane Warne – To hear some of the stories that didn’t make the papers 3) Keith Richards – would have some ripper stories from the old days 4) Ricky Gervais – genius 5) Brad Johnson – always looks like he’s having a great time 5 celebrities you would not invite to dinner and why: 1) Caroline Wilson – head for radio, voice for newspapers 2) Hutchy – wanker! 3) Eddie McGuire – thinks he owns this town 4) Pol Pot – nobody likes him 5) Scott Mollard – anyone who’s played against him would know What do you look for in an ideal woman? Anybody who can make me laugh and put up with me for more than 5 minutes Describe your best weekend in the last 12 months? Any days of the week down at Anglesea with the boys in Jan last year. Just drinking in the sunshine, listening to George and Josh on guitar, roof party, beach cricket, punting, etc. Can’t beat that shit! Name 5 players from the club you would hit the town with, why: 1) Flags – has anyone ever had a bad time with him? 2) A Smith – the original concrete boots is great to talk shit with all night about anything 3) Dane Evans – nothing better than watching the progression from Dane (sober) to Wayne (tipsy, funny, picks up hot chicks) to Dwayne (blind, gets kicked out of 21st’s, kisses boys) 4) Joey Indo – the king just knows how to have fun 5) George Garth – will sit there and have 40 pots with you if you ask him too. Tells a mean joke too. 8/-Funniest thing seen or experienced on a footy trip? Byron 2004. After hearing many stories about one Daniel Dugina over the first day or two, nothing has really happened. Saturday night at the beach hotel and Daniel walks over to us, hands us his drink and says ‘watch this’. He then proceeds to charge at a ‘heavy set’ young lady that had been hanging around a few of the boys the night before and tackled her Micky Kav style completely knocking her over. He then got up, dusted himself off, came back for his drink and said, ‘what?’ If you had to take out one of the following persons out for dinner who would it and who wouldn’t it be and why? Choose from SCATTERS, MEL’miracle’ BEYER, PAUL GARTH, ANDREW BYRSON, SNAKE PEARSON, JOHHNY RAFFLE or JIMMY ‘the bear’ TAYLOR Toss up between Miracle Mel and Porky Garth coz you know they’d both be pushing you all night to keep up in the shout at the linc and probably win every race in Pinjarra. Wouldn’t go near Bryso again if you paid me after seeing his efforts when he was two’s coach. You just won $1 million, how would you spend it? Straight to Vegas for a few weeks with the boys then push through the rest of the states and Europe for as long as it lasts Upcoming cult hero at the club and why? Jesse Mununzio. Can come up with a prayer on demand. Plus, the kid can play! Finish the sentence: St. Bernard’s to me is … where you wanna be on a Saturday afternoon at 5 o’clock, BEST TIME OF THE WEEK!	'Libba' Libba with State coach Mick Dwyer 'Libba' Libba with State coach Mick Dwyer 'Libba' Libba with State coach Mick Dwyer 'Libba' Libba with State coach Mick Dwyer
Personal Facts: Name: James Hughes Nickname: Foxy, Hughsey Age: 23 Footy Number: 5 Years at Bernard’s: 23 Games Played: 50 seniors 100 juniors Previous Clubs: No Where do you live with and with whom: Mum, Dad, Claire and Nick and my dog Molly Job: Accountant Marital Status: Single Car: Magna (Firetruck) AFL Team: Essendon Fav AFL Player: Roachy when he played. Fav Movie: All the Rocky movies and the new series of Batman Fav Actor: Denzel Washington Fav TV Show: Simpsons, Seinfeld Fav Sportsperson: Michael Jordan Fav Meal/Drink: Goofy’s pizza especially with footy boys (Goof’s, Goof’s) Winner’s piss (pot of carlton draught after a big win down at the snakepit) Fav Night Spot: Motel (not with Bracks though) If You Had Personalised Number Plate: MR FOXY (hypothetical question, wouldn’t get them) Routine Before Match: None About Your Teamates: Best Dressed at Club: Joey Indo/ Jesse Munza (the Wog squad) Worst Dressed: Josh Madden Most Annoying Player: Salva Funniest Player at Club: Lossa/ Micky Kav Messiest on The Drink: Some might say calling the kettle black but has to be Dane Evans Biggest Case Of White Line Fever: Adam Matthews Snakepits Pretty Boy: Tate Pearson Snakepits Lady Starver: Libba Snakepits Nerdsky: Josh Madden by the length of the Flemington Straight Snakepits Loosiest Brendan Ryan. Can’t wait til he goes overseas!!! Sport Our Skipper MACCA Cannot Play: Hot Dog Eating contest Favourite Bernards Player: Tom Caven Most Underated: Bomber Cave Most Overated: Any bloke that’s ever come from Coburg 2’s to play at St.Bernards (not u though Catters). The list is long yet their talent is very limited. Best Foot Skills: Vancey. If you don’t believe me ask the bloke from Fitzroy Reds who he kicked in the face. Best Hand Skills: If he’s thinking about himself then Justin Evans wins hands down. Best Grab: Roachy Best Tackler: Johnno. Anyone who saw that tackle on Mad Monday a few years ago will know why. Best Trainer on the Track: Leah, Nikki, Mel and Bec. Not Wheels though. Best /Worst Tripper Best: D-Mac. When on song Honourable mention J.Stapo. Liked his form. Worst: Salva. Who leaves a footy trip early. Honourable mention: Matt Marian. Who Would Win a River Run: Sam Scott. Can’t trust a bloke with two first names. Who Has the Best Rig: Tate Pearson/Adam Matthews. I’d like to put my hand up also Whos Mrs /Sister Would You Love To Take Out For Dinner: Melinda Hogan. Will Tait ‘PUMPA’ Wilkinson Wear a St.Bernards Jumper Again: Yes Who Would You Want Next To You in a Melee: Chatty Would/Would Not You Want To Room With On a Footy Trip Would: Chicka cause when he lets a fire hydrant off I know its not my room. Wouldn’t: Bluty/Kav. Two’s company, three’s a crowd. Favourite Snakepit Sideline Supporter: I’ll go with someone different. When the Cat Man comes down and watches, he’s one of the best. Least Favourite Snakepit Sideline Supporter: No one. Everyone down the Snakepit is warm and friendly. Who Gives the Best Cheapies on Saturdays: Locko. What Player Would Get a Game in Bernards Cricket First X1: Yoshi Prediction for the 3rd Annual 20/20 Cricket Match Is the Footballers will smash’em out on the ground and outdrink them off it. Adam Rule, you are in trouble!! Finish the sentence, The BAZZA is: A Mitchell family tradition. If there were a retrospective Bazza handed out, I’m sure Gavin would have win it. Clanga is a multiple “winner”, Bocca has fought many people in it, AJ has had it on his Schillaci skin, Dave missed a day at the races because of it and when Luke comes, he is a Monte (pardon the pun) to get it. Hogi Asks You 12 The Best: 1. Five favourite sporting moments: 1) Any St.Bernards Win 2) Silky beating Hogi in a running contest circa 2006 3) Rocky beating Clubber Lang (Mr. T) in Rocky 3 4) St. Theresa’s beating St. Vincents in 1996 Primary school Grand Final. They’re still whinging 5) Every time I see the shuffler running the streets of Essendon. The last time he stopped was March 1989. 2. Five least favourite sporting moments: 1) Any St. Bernards loss 2) 2004 Albion U11B premiership. If they didn’t win, Bryso wouldn’t have got his shit tattoo 3) Every one of Ricky Dyson’s games 4) Nathan Allen winning the Stawell Gift 5) Anything involved with Lleyton Hewitt 3. Five celebrities would invite to dinner and why: 1) Miranda Kerr for her intelligence 2) Hugh Heffner farking genius 3) Kevin Bloody Wilson to sing his Santa Claus song. 4) Phil Liggett the greatest commentator in the world. 5) Michael J Fox to see what he’s on about. 4. Five celebrities you would not invite to dinner and why: 1) Casey Donovan she’d eat all the food. 2) Todd McKenney home owner 3) Roberta Williams enough said 4) The midget from Big Brother cos midgets scare me 5) Nick D’Arcy, he’d probably knock my teeth out 5 . What do you look for in an ideal woman? A pulse 6. Describe your best weekend in the last 12 months? Can’t remember but it probably involved drinking beer cos I hate drinking piss with my mates. 7. Name 5 players from the club you would hit the town with and why: 1) Hogi 12- I know there’s life in the old dog yet. 2) Chicka- very, very unpredictable. If there’s fun, he’ll find it. 3) Blunty- never stops trying. 4) Dmac – he hates having fun. 5) Bocca- Some might say he’s the worst drunk at the club, I say he’s misunderstood. 8. Funniest thing seen or experienced on a footy trip? Adelaide day 3 at the Grand Hotel. After Chicka was fleeced by these homeless blokes with their dog that was called the 3 legged rock dog yet it had 4 legs, he somehow managed to get their wallets which coincidentally had no money. We decided to play a game with the simple Adelaide folk. We attached some string to the wallet laid it out on the walkway with a $20 note sticking out. Time after time these stupid Adelaide people (on another note we ran into Hooper) would try to bend down and pick it up leaving them to embarrassment when the whole pub would erupt into laughter when Lossa pulled the string. 9. If you had to take out one of the following persons out for dinner who would it and who wouldn’t it be? SCATTERS, MEL’miracle’ BEYER, PAUL GARTH, ANDREW BRYSON, SNAKE PEARSON, JOHHNY RAFFLE or JIMMY ‘the bear’ TAYLOR Would: Mel Beyer- my first image of Mel Beyer is on the u/16’s footy when he passed out on the couch with a ciggie and can of VB in his hand. You can’t buy that. Wouldn’t: Bryso- his obsession with Robbie Williams is bordering on psychotic 10. You just won $1 million, how would you spend it? Not with any of you blokes. 11. Upcoming cult hero at the club and why? Alex Jolley. Good kid, I like the way he goes about things 12. Finish the sentence: St. Bernard’s to me is ... The best there is, the best there was and the best there ever will be.	Hughsey alias ... 'the Fox'! Hughsey alias ... 'the Fox'! Hughsey alias ... 'the Fox'! Hughsey
Personal Facts: Name: Chris Davis Nickname: Chisel Age: 30 Footy Number: 11 Years at Bernard’s: 14 years seniors, 5 juniors and been there watching Terry since I was born Games Played: about 222 Previous Clubs: I'm loyal, St.Bernards only Where do you live with and with whom: Have recently moved back with the olds in east Keilor ( Saving money is my excuse) Job: Personal Trainer ( better than tait!) Marital Status: Girlfriend lucy 2 years Car: Toyota Corolla ascent AFL Team: The mighty Blues Fav AFL Player Juddy of course Fav Movie: Anything with stiffler in it and dodgeball Fav Actor: Stiffler Fav TV Show: Girls of the playboy mansion, prison break Fav Sportsperson: Michael Jordan Fav Meal/Drink: Satay chicken/ Jim beam and coke (not a breezer hogi, just Sundays on the footy trip) Fav Night Spot: Any club that dale owns, so currently CQ If You Had Personalised Number Plates What Would They Be: Chiz11 Routine Before Match: Work from 6 or 7am til 10am, drive to game, eat a boost bar and drink a V, massage from leah, Happy ending, ready to go! About Your Teamates: Best Dressed at Club: Hogi (after Melinda started dressing him), Worst Dressed: Trev Most Annoying Player: Evo (I leave it up to you to pick which one) Funniest Player at Club: Mick Kav Messiest on The Drink: All those blokes under 25 + Bocca Biggest Case Of White Line Fever: Adam Matthews Snakepits Pretty Boy: Judda Snakepits Lady Starver: Mounty (gets too drunk to close the deal) Snakepits Nerdsky: Gary Mcintyre (he listens to classical music) Snakepits Loosiest Player: Blunty Sport Our Skipper MACCA Cannot Play: Swimming (too hairy) Favourite Bernards Player: Tom Caven Most Underated: Now that Nick is playing 1’s, Andrew Smith Most Overated: Bomber (once an umpire always an umpire) Best Foot Skills: under 20 metres Hogi, Tom Overman Best Hand Skills: Justin Evans (he cant kick) Best Grab: Justin Buckets Evans, Potsy Best Tackler: Jess Manunzio Best Trainer on the Track: Tom Overman Best /Worst Tripper Best – Hogi, worst – Dave Thomas Who Would Win a River Run: Blunty Who Has the Best Rig: Gerry Christie Whos Mrs /Sister Would You Love To Take Out For Dinner: Bombers Mrs! Will Tait ‘PUMPA’ Wilkinson Wear a St.Bernards Jumper Again: No, he’ll prob go to Strathmore too! Who Would You Want Next To You in a Melee: Adam Matthews Would/Would Not You Want To Room With On a Footy Trip Blunty, I heard he has toys! Favourite Snakepit Sideline Supporter: Bernie Comerford Least Favourite Snakepit Sideline Supporter: Simon Madden (refuses to give me a game) Who Gives the Best Cheapies on Saturdays: Chatty What Player Would Get a Game in Bernards Cricket First X1: None of you! Maybe Ben 'the huss' hogi after his performance 2 years ago Prediction for the 3rd Annual 20/20 Cricket Match Cricketers by PLENTY (no underarms this year and Mick Overman … wear a helmet please!!!) Finish the sentence, The BAZZA is: … a very special award that you DON’T want to win! Hogi Asks You 12 The Best: 1. Five favourite sporting moments: 1) 1999 prelim final - Go blues 2) 95 carlton flag 3) Michael bevans winning runs vs west indies 4) Aussies smashing of the poms in recent ashes 5) Australian netball world champs win vs new zealand 2. Five least favourite sporting moments: 1) Losing to italy world cup soccer (diving pricks) 2) Any carlton loss to Essendon or collingwood 3) Losing ashes in england 3. Five celebrities would invite to dinner and why: 1) Jennifer Hawkins – miss universe say no more 2) Hugh Hefner – so I could become mates and go to the playboy mansion 3) Gordon Ramsey – he can cook 4) Stiffler 5) Jessica alba – just hot! 4. Five celebrities you would not invite to dinner and why: 1) Jim Carey – reckon his a toss 2) Rafael nadal – cant stand the way he picks his arse 3) Oprah winfrey – shed eat all the food then do a weight loss show 4) Craig Hutchison – Massive tosser 5) Mike Tyson- I value my ears, a ticking timebomb 5 . What do you look for in an ideal woman? Personality, personality and personality and a bonus if she’s hot! I am a face person, has to have a gorgeous face. 6. Describe your best weekend in the last 12 months? Cricket trip in coogee bay! Great venue, plenty of booze, some great activities (races and rugby) and some pretty good views! 7. Name 5 players from the club you would hit the town with and why: 1) Justin evans – confident man who dances like a lunatic 2) Simon Cave – because it would be an achievement to get him out at all 3) Potsy – Would love to see the sleazy man in action 4) Hogi – Who knows what could happen 5) D-Mac – He is jusy sooo smooooooth 8. Funniest thing seen or experienced on a footy trip? 1st footy trip in Tassie, Hogi in full flight all day. A streak down the home straight in nothing but a G – Banger that had a crocodile pouch for his rubix cube. Then he did the same on top of a bar at the casino that night. Getting driven home at 5am in the morning, one block from the hotel, we say, have a look at this bloke in the gutter … wait a minute, it’s Hogi!, Hogi, come on mate we’ll take you home. (Hogi looks at the parking meter), Nah, its ok ive still got 30 mins left in the meter! Hogi had put $ in the parking meter so he could sleep in the gutter and not get fined! Footy trip legend!!!!! And just to top that night off, we get back to our hotel to see packages outside all our doors…they are full of bread rolls! Hogi, before sleeping in the gutter had been to the bakery and bought $50 worth of bread rolls and got them all packaged for the boys! 9. If you had to take out one of the following persons out for dinner who would it and who wouldn’t it be? SCATTERS, MEL’miracle’ BEYER, PAUL GARTH, ANDREW BRYSON, SNAKE PEARSON, JOHHNY RAFFLE or JIMMY ‘the bear’ TAYLOR Would – Mel Beyer so we could talk about our back to back premierships in the under 16 Wouldn’t – Bryso, he’d spend all dinner chatting up the waitress! And it would destroy my chances with her 10. You just won $1 million, how would you spend it? Buy an apartment in port Melbourne, Buy into Travisty, Buy a black hummer And do an around the world trip, spend a bit on the mrs too! 11. Upcoming cult hero at the club and why? Think we saw that at the announcement of the senior team to face Camberwell, Jess Manunzio. What's not to like about him! 12. Finish the sentence: St. Bernard’s to me is ... … My life! I love the place and will be here til the day I die … hopefully thats a long time	'Chisel' Chis done the Kakoda track! Meeting the locals Ready to go Done it! 'Chisel' Chis done the Kakoda track! Meeting the locals Ready to go Done it!
Personal Facts: Name: Andrew Smith Nickname: Smithy Age: 26 Footy Number: 26 Years at Bernard’s: 16 Games Played: around 100 Previous Clubs: nup Where do you live with and with whom: Just moved into the new palatial estate with my defacto Lauren Job: Occupational Therapist Marital Status: defacto Car: Mitshubishi Verada 1991 AFL Team: The Mighty Essendon ShinBombers Fav AFL Player Dane Swan: I love the way he doesn’t panic under pressure and gets all of the inside ball. Fav Movie: The Departed Fav Actor: Ed Norton Fav TV Show: 4 corners Fav Sportsperson: Scott Lucas- a genuine superstar who just goes about his business. Fav Meal/Drink: Lamb Roast and a pot served by James Hughes in the rooms after the 1’s/2’s have both just won. Routine Before Match: Wake up at 8.30, coffee & toast … paper, superleague stats from the previous nights game…Get to ground with Jnr or snaz (nowadays its just me and snaz) …walk the track…win snake pearsons the first contest of the day … in the rooms … shorts/boots/jumper ... usually I'm ready in about 3 minutes then I just walk around for the next hour waiting for Evo/Dutchy/Jurra/Snazza/Chisel and whoever else to finish their respective rubs/tapings. About Your Teamates: Best Dressed at Club: Tate Pearson- I’ll never forget that huge puffy yellow jacket with the cut of sleeves that he wore to his 18th .(Clang, Jezza, Tractor will remember the one).. I’m just waiting for him to bring it out again one day soon. No but in all seriousness, Tate is a well dressed man, what about that shirt with the flames up the arms he wore to the ball a couple of years ago…. Now that’s style. Well done Tate. Worst Dressed: Probably me… Most Annoying Player: McMeekin Funniest Player at Club: Little Munz, great man. Worst or Messiest Player On The Drink: He will hate me for saying this but, Dwyane Evans. Biggest Case Of White Line Fever: Don’t know if it is technically white line fever but the fox is a very entertaining to watch on the sidelines in a close game. Otherwise I’d have to say Schrodsey. Name the Snakepits Pretty Boy: Tate Pearson Name the Snakepits Lady Starver: Don’t know if there is one, all the lads go OK from what I can see. Name the Snakepits Nerdsky: Probably George, seeing he is going to upload this to the internet somehow. Name the Snakepits Loosiest Player: Many can talk the talk, but not many walk the walk like young Brendan Ryan. Name a Sport Our Skipper MACCA Cannot Play: I think I saw him lose a rock -scissor - paper contest to John Harvey the other day…. I think Macca was too nice to inform young John that the “gun” was not actually a part of the game. Favourite Bernards Player: 1’s- Tate Pearson, 2’s- Jess Munz 3’s- John Harvey Most Underated: Cant split it between Jezza Spiteri and Kase Tugayoshi Most Overated: McMeekin Best Foot Skills: Roachy Best Hand Skills: Jozza Best Grab: Buckets /Roachy /Tommy Caven /Pottys Best Tackler: DMac /Micky Kav Best Trainer on the Track: Lossa Best Footy Tripper/Worst Tripper: Have to be Chicka/ me (coz I haven’t been on one yet…hoping to rectify that his year) Who Would Win a River Run: D Blunt Who Has the Best Rig: Tate Pearson…must be all that core stupidity he does night and day Whos Mrs /Sister Would You Love To Take Out For Dinner: Probably any of the Pearson ladies … if clang had a sister /Mrs Will Tait ‘PUMPA’ Wilkinson Ever Wear a St.Bernards Jumper Again and Why: With just one game to go to make 150, surely Pumpa can sit on the pine in the two’s next year for one. Who Would You Want Next To You if a Melee Started: Adam Matthews Who Would/Would Not You Want To Room With On a Footy Trip: Would - Flags, coz he makes me laugh. Wouldn’t - Dwyane Evans - contantly strolling down liability street. Christopher Liberatore - no matter how many cans I’ve downed, you’ll never be able to convince me that you can hold down centre half forward. Who is Your Favourite Snakepit Sideline Supporter: No contest. Bernie Comerford… should consider changing career paths to psychology the way he can get into blokes heads. Who is Your Least Favourite Snakepit Sideline Supporter: Don’t have one. Who Gives the Best Cheapies on Saturdays: Would have to be the Trojan (Bocca), just wheel him out and let him do the rest. What Player Would Get a Game in the St.Bernards Cricket First X1: No idea … G - Love? Prediction for the 3rd Annual 20/20 Cricket Match: Whichever side Chisel is on. Finish the sentence, The BAZZA is: pleasure, pain, punishment, prestige and I’ve ran out of p’s Hogi Asks You 12 The Best: Five favourite sporting moments: 1) Makybe Diva’s 3rd Melbourne Cup. 2) North Melbourne losing by over 100 points in finals last year…twice. 3) Watching Bryce Miciewicz do the nut-bush nude on a table during a club 2’s home game last year. 4) Andrew Catterall giving Jon Stevens (Ivanhoe) a spray a few years back about his tight footy shorts…”hey stevo, some twelve year old phillipino rang…he wants his arse back” Five least favourite sporting moments: 1) Relegation last year 2) 1999 Prelim final loss to Carlton 3) the rape and pillage of the sport by the AFL rules committee (/fun police) 4) to many true blue bernies blokes leaving for $$$ 5) missing out on finals in 2003 Five celebrities would invite to dinner and why: 1) Arj Barker- comic genius . 2) Billy Brownless- froffies froffies froffies 3) Paul Garth- for the after dinner cigar 4) Michael Jordan- genius… and also loves a cigar. 5) Andrew Bolt- so we could all pot him …. what a wanka 5 celebrities you would not invite to dinner and why: 1) Tom Cruise- fruit loop 2) Shiek Mohammah Bin Hi Lay’li- so he could put a ‘fatwa’ on tom cruise 3) Rove McManus- not funny. 4) Caroline Wilson- don’t think I need to explain this one. 5) Robert Walls - See above. What do you look for in an ideal woman? Makes me laugh and can keep up in a shout… keeper. Describe your best weekend in the last 12 months? Probably last weekend moving into the new pad in Moonee Ponds. Then smashing SKOBS at Righetti and kicking on to the boat cruise with a the lads. … great time had by all. Name 5 players from the club you would hit the town with and why: 1) Lossa- he always knows what time it is. 2) Flags- No one ever feels down when flags is around. 3) Junior- quiet achiever…. love hearing about his escapades the next day, 4) Chick- just knows how to have fun….and lots of it. 5) Libba- super league banter…”trust me smithy….I can hold down CHF “banter Funniest thing seen or experienced on a footy trip? N/A If you had to take out one of the following persons out for dinner who would it and who wouldn’t it be and why? Choose from SCATTERS, MEL’miracle’ BEYER, PAUL GARTH, ANDREW BYRSON, SNAKE PEARSON, JOHHNY RAFFLE or JIMMY ‘the bear’ TAYLOR Would have to be miracle... Still remains my favourite coach in my footy career. … tells it how it is and is always positive …. and because he’s a genius! You just won $1 million, how would you spend it? Probably start by getting the deck on oval 2 redone… Pay for every player to come on an extended footy trip. Pay off the mortgage with the left over cash…. Offer Tate Pearson 1000 bucks to buy that puffy yellow sleeveless jacket from him ….. pay some random bloke $500 to keep the bar open after every home game so chick and I can keep the concrete boots on. Upcoming cult hero at the club and why? Again, no contest … little Munz. Great attitude, can lay a tackle and is a wordsmith to boot. Finish the sentence: St. Bernard’s to me is …(staring at the watch)…..best time of the week!	Smithy Smithy Smithy Smithy
Personal Facts: Name: Luke O’Sullivan Nickname: LOSSA Age: 27 Footy Number: now 3 Years at Bernard’s: 15 odd Games Played: 140 odd Previous Clubs: Essendon Royals Where do you live with and with whom: Oldies – I think you’ve meet them. Job: PE Teacher Marital Status: Please! Car: White with Mags AFL Team: Essendon Fav Movie: Stand By Me Fav Actor: Will Farrell Fav TV Show: Liz’s Kitchen Fav Sportsperson: Michael Jordan Fav Meal/Drink: Parma / Raspberry or pot of draught. Fav Night Spot: Don’t really have one. Love a good pub though. Brett Johno’s and Mick Maloney house in Strathmore use to be good. 2am curfew would have really hurt those blokes If You Had Personalised Number Plates What Would They Be: Wouldn’t get them, Sorry Hogi 12. Routine Before Match: Nothing exciting, out for dinner on Fri night, footy, snooze on the floor, bed, wake up, J TV, walk to Sev’s, Powerade, Breakfast, organise who’s driving, pack bag, off I go. About Your Teamates: Best Dressed at Club: Scatman or Mel with his purple hair Funniest Player at Club: Where do I start? I could give you a good 10-15. It’s amazing the combinations that get me, Johno and Chick, Kav and Blunty, Joey Indo and Munza, George Garth and Lozza Garth. Worst or Messiest Player On The Drink: Mitchell family minus Denise. Biggest Case Of White Line Fever: Presently; Chatty, Shroder or Kyle the worst I’ve played with Luke Gollant or Shane Byrne (how he could tell he’s students off for a fight or bad sportsmanship without smirking I’ll never know) Name the Snakepits Pretty Boy: Don’t know, all the U19’s seem to love a good kit these days. Name the Snakepits Lady Starver: FOX although, rumour has it he is a SLY DOG! Name the Snakepits Nerdsky: Nicholas Smith Senior Name the Snakepits Loosest Player: Look I could say the usual suspects Chick, Johno etc but vintage Michael Kav is just gold. He has changed and look lets be honest, he wouldn’t be here today if he didn’t. I have a feeling we just might catch a glimpse in the next couple of weeks. Strap yourselves in boys. Footnote: Although Kav has changed Snapper Blunt is still the worst influence. Name a Sport Our Skipper MACCA Cannot Play: Hiking….sorry I forgot he did do the Inca Treck. Favourite Bernards Player: Tate Pearson when he puts the blinkers on Potsy for hangers I reckon doDrsy, Stapo or Joey Indo could be in a few years Most Underated: Andy Smith Best Foot Skills: Don’t laugh foxy hughes Best Grab: Pottsy Best Tackler: Kav Best Footy Tripper- Please see the loosest players plus Macca and Pottsy really surprised me. Grant and Jess have to realise not to let him in a shout. Davo and Potsy would be good together. Worst Tripper- On last years form Dave Mitch, although, he did come good then maybe be Muzza but please, SALVA terrible effort. You never leave a footy trip early! Who Would Win a River Run: Yoshi or this may reflect badly on the club but again please see loosest players. Who Has the Best Rig: Me, Hogi Jezza, Bryce, Bocca or John Harvs. Whos Mrs/Sister Would You Love To Take Out For Dinner: Three bird’s with one stone; Snappers ex, Doorsy sister, Mick Overman daughter….. Nah no one really, it would only get complicated. You all know what happens when I mix business with pleasure it equals Fight morning, lost phone, yada yada yada! Just quickly Thanks for everyone’s support just to let you know work is back on track!! Dad there’s some things Dad’s just don’t need to know. Will Tait ‘PUMPA’ Wilkinson Ever Wear a St. Bernard’s Jumper Again and Why: Nope earning to much money in Perth. Would be good to see a few others come back such as Tim Harves and Turtle. I know D-Byrne will pull the Bernard’s jumper on again. Who Would You Want Next To You if a Melee Started: Wouldn’t care as long as it was at the North Suburban. Who Would You Want To Room With On a Footy Trip: Wouldn’t care. It’s always to get a young fella a first timer, although, last years was pretty good, George Garth, Chicka, D Blunt, Macca, Andy Kav. Some inclusions would be Clang, Ben Locho, Hogi if he drinks light for the first 15 each day. To be honest whoever will have me, I’ve been known to wet the bed! Wouldn’t: If your spending time in your room with a team mate your wasting your time. Although rumour has it, it’s what a local EDFL footy side seems to enjoy doing!! Who is Your Favourite Snakepit Sideline Supporter: Bernie ‘loud talker’ Comerford Who is Your Least Favourite Snakepit Sideline Supporter: Not sure Jim Taylor seems to give me a good spray but well deserved probably. No one really Who Gives the Best Cheapies on Saturdays: Is it just me or do these questions seem to repeat…. Chatty, Shcroda or Joey Indo isn’t too bad. What Player Would Get a Game in the St.Bernards Cricket First X1: I’ve got a good student in Grade 6. Old man Nartz would be good, if he could see it out of the hand. Prediction for the 3rd Annual 20/20 Cricket Match: Who knows but you can bet on an argument between a Cricket old boy and a footy player. Happens every year. Supposedly I’m still getting blamed for something. Finish the sentence, The BAZZA is bigger than: the St John Bosco’s fete. Hogi Asks You 12 The Best: 1/ Five favourite sporting moments: 1) 2002 Flag and the week after. 2) Mel Byer on Fire U17 Flag. 3) Consistently beating James Terrence Mount and Drew David Gleeson in Pool and I mean consistently. 4) St. Christopher’s 3 peat. U12b’s, U12 a’s and 14B’s. Snazz defensive player in 1990. 5)The Jamaican bobsled team taking the winter Olympics by storm. Feel the rhythm……Brings a tear to my eye every time and…. that lucky egg. Brilliant stuff!!! And the remarkable thing is that in Jamaica it doesn’t snow. How did they train? 2/Three least favourite sporting moments: 1) Loosing the 2 A grade Flags 2) B Grade relegation 3) Redbacks Basketball club forming. Bunch of cheats! 3/Three celebrities would invite to dinner and why: 1) Michael Jordan. 2) Noel Gallagher – haven’t caught up with him of late!! 3) Jesus – to see if he really was a builder. I have my doubts. If he was that good of a carpenter I’m sure he could have got a couple of nails out. 5/-What do you look for in an ideal woman? Hopefully, she doesn’t don’t have an ex or current boyfriend!! 6/-Describe your best weekend in the last 12 months? There have been a few, Falls over New Years, or the annual Man trip to Corowa. Foxy nude up the finishing post and getting chased out of the track, Garthy in charge of the Moonee Valley Boot scootin club, the classy and mature ladies, snapper and the limousine service, motor boats and Clang blowing everything up all round good trip. 7/-Name 5 players from the club you would hit the town with and why: 1)Ok I’m sitting on the fence here. There are the usual suspects mentioned in every on the couch with HOGi12 but anyone who contributes. Gives something. Doesn’t have to be much ,stays in the shout and stays on beer, tells a story or a gag. Just someone who contributes. That’s what’s great about Bernard’s. I’m even happy to drink with bocca at 4am. There isn’t really anyone I wouldn’t go out with and that’s probably why I’m single and still living at home……..….. hang on if you see a cab stopping on the West Gate please stop and grab me. 8/-Funniest thing seen or experienced on a footy trip? Jim Stapo running the straight nude except for his ‘I love to dance bag’ and fiery skirt or clan getting run over in Byron. 9/-If you had to take out one of the following persons out for dinner who would it and who wouldn’t it be and why? Choose from SCATTERS, MEL’miracle’ BEYER, PAUL GARTH, ANDREW BYRSON, SNAKE PEARSON, JOHHNY RAFFLE or JIMMY ‘the bear’ TAYLOR All quality but Mel Beyer a personal favourite. We can always go back to the Mad Monday after the U17 grand final. Good day for us but not for him. He had to face the footy and College board. '10 year reunion this year' 10/-You just won $1 million, how would you spend it? Don’t need mags so…….. um, learn to fight. No I’m not going to say donate 500,000 to footy trip. Honestly probably 10,000. Then head back overseas (Yes I have travelled), buy a house and (similar to a party Andrew Cats had….brilliant), have a massive party wreck the joint re build, then find myself a really tanned misses and settle. 11/-Upcoming cult hero at the club? Jesse Munza 12/-Finish the sentence: St. Bernard’s is a place Mum can cook! Mum, Mick Kav recon’s you’re an ordinary cook. You’re a dog Mick, she’s just there trying to give something, trying to help. Ordinary Mick, I think Paul and Paul are lovely people……… Dad, don’t serve him a drink this Thursday.
JUSTIN EVANS Name: Justin Evans Nickname: Evo/Buckets Age: 29 Footy Number: 8 Years at Bernard’s: 12 Games Played: Approx 180 Previous Clubs: Strathmore Where do you live with and with whom: Port Melbourne with housemate (note- not a “man friend”) Job: Lawyer Marital Status: Single Car: Honda Civic AFL Team: Mighty Mighty Bombers Fav AFL Player: Alwyn Davey Fav Movie: Gladiator Fav Actor: Matt Damon Fav TV Show: Sultry Sandra followed by Sports Tonight Fav Sportsperson: Mick Diamond Fav Meal/Drink: Chicken Risotto/Mum’s Cannelloni Fav Night Spot: Anywhere that will let me in If You Had Personalised Number Plates What Would They Be: BIGEVO Routine Before Match: Sleep in, listen to Pat Benetar on Video Hits, ring and heckle mates, read sport section of paper. About Your Teamates: Best Dressed at Club: Glenn Scarborough Worst Dressed: Dutchy Most Annoying Player: Steve Iannazzo- We have a love/hate relationship Funniest Player at Club: Nick Smith Worst or Messiest Player On The Drink: Could pick from a dozen, but Hogi is the opposite of a fine wine- he gets worse with age. Biggest Case Of White Line Fever: BOCA Mitchell Name the Snakepits Pretty Boy: There is only one- Chisel Name the Snakepits Lady Starver: My little brother Dane Name the Snakepits Nerdsky: Roachy Name the Snakepits Loosest Player: Damien Iannazzo Name a Sport Our Skipper MACCA Cannot Play: Does it exist? Perhaps smash the Mexican Piniata Favourite Bernards Player: Micky Kav- juggling St Bernard’s lyrics and football is a tough ask Most Underrated: Andy Smith Most Overrated: Ben Overman Best Foot Skills: Shagger Janides, exquisite Best Hand Skills: On field-Tate Pearson, Off field- Lossa Best Grab: Pottsy Best Tackler: On field-Tom Caven, Off field- Lossa Best Trainer on the Track: Tom Overman Best Footy Tripper/Worst Tripper: Best: Jessie Creasey Worst: Mark “I have a lifetime ban from Footy Trips” Salvadore Who Would Win a River Run: Blunty on one leg with pneumonia Who Has the Best Rig: John Harvey Whos Mrs/Sister Would You Love To Take Out For Dinner: Mrs of James “Foxy” Hughes- the hard questions would be asked Will Tait ‘PUMPA’ Wilkinson Ever Wear a St.Bernards Jumper Again and Why: Let’s hope so- talls don’t get any shorter Who Would You Want Next To You if a Melee Started: Johnno & Jesse Manunzio Who Would/Would Not You Want To Room With On a Footy Trip: Would: Justin Fistrovic Wouldn’t: Clanger Mitchell- speaks for itself Who is Your Favourite Snakepit Sideline Supporter: Jim “Bear” Taylor Who is Your Least Favourite Snakepit Sideline Supporter: Old Nartz- more handstand sculling required Who Gives the Best Cheapies on Saturdays: Chatty What Player Would Get a Game in the St.Bernards Cricket First X1: Take your pick, everyone (not that hard) Prediction for the 3rd Annual 20/20 Cricket Match Against: Football club bowl out cricket club for combined total of 1 and win under Duckworth Lewis system without even taking to the crease Finish the sentence, The BAZZA is a prestigious award that makes the US Masters green jacket look like a purchase from a Buckley Street Op Shop Hogi Asks You 12 Of The Best: 1/ 5 favourite sporting moments: 1) 2003 Premiership 2) Bombers 1993/2000 Premierships 3) In Barbados watching the Aussies win the 2007 Cricket World Cup 4) Last quarter 1984 VFL Grand Final 5) 1983 Boxing Day test, D.K Lillee knocking over Viv Richards with the last ball of the day (and the ensuing celebration). 2/-5 least favourite sporting moments: 1) Losing A Grade grand finals 2) Getting relegated 3) 1990 AFL Grand Final 4) 4th Test Adelaide Oval 1993- Craig McDermott getting caught off the helmet to hand the Windies victory by 2 runs 5) Soccer World Cup 2006- dirty dago Grosso taking a dive, putting the Aussies out of the tournament 3/-5 celebrities would invite to dinner and why: 1) Warwick Capper- not short of a word 2) The Pope- To gauge his stance on blokes playing football on the Sabbath 3) Jana Novotna- to teach the art of how not to choke 4) Bill Clinton- to ask the question “How was it?” 5) Miranda Kerr- Up and coming superstar 4/-5 celebrities you would not invite to dinner and why: 1) Kyle Sandilands- absolute goose 2) Mutiah Murilidaran- does anybody really think he doesn’t chuck it? 3) Delta Goodrem- clichéd, booooooring 4) Robert Mugabe- a dumb, blind Papua New Guinean tree monkey could run Zimbabwe better 5) Marsha Hines- can somebody please tell her to shut the hell up 5/-What do you look for in an ideal woman? 5'9, stunner, intelligent, lets me watch as much “old school” sport highlights as I like, great cooking skills, etc, etc. Where do I find one like this? 6/-Describe your best weekend in the last 12 months? The 48 hours included sipping pina coladas on a St Maarten beach watching 747’s flying 50 metres above your head, purchase of 3 litres of duty free alcohol for $10US, consuming 25 rum and cokes on Easter Sunday watching the Aussies clean up the Poms, drinking with the loose lead singer of Crazytown (one hit wonder- “Butterfly”) and getting served drinks by an Antiguan midget in St Johns Casino. 7/-Name 5 players from the club you would hit the town with and why: 1) Dane Evans: have to get the family approval for all late night activities 2) Flags- please, please… 3) Gary McIntyre: so we can discuss the relationship between VAFA, politics and religion over a few frothies 4) Mark Jurisckay: the voice of reason 5) Captain McLaughlin: the consummate professional, leads both on an off the field 8/-Funniest thing seen or experienced on a footy trip? Perth Football Trip 2002. Liam “Turtle” Wilkinson did his best impersonation of Greg Louganis, diving off the top deck of the boat as it docked into Rottnest Island. The Captain was furious, resulting in poor turtle getting a visit from the local constabulary as he exited the jetty, being cuffed and stuffed in the back of the divvy. The video footage taken by Danny Byrne of the whole incident was something that only Hollywood could replicate. 9/-If you had to take out one of the following persons out for dinner who would it and who wouldn’t it be and why? Choose from SCATTERS, MEL’miracle’ BEYER, PAUL GARTH, ANDREW BYRSON, SNAKE PEARSON, JOHHNY RAFFLE or JIMMY ‘the bear’ TAYLOR Would: Mel Beyer- Nearly killed him on way back from Warrnambool Races in 2000 so he deserves a free feed Wouldn’t: Paul Garth- He wouldn’t be interested in conversation as he’d be pre-occupied with group text messaging half the southern hemisphere the directions to Haileybury or the location of our next practice match. 10/-You just won $1 million, how would you spend it? See answer to ideal woman. Who says money can’t buy love. 11/-Upcoming cult hero at the club and why? Marty Byrne. His work on the dancefloors during the 2007 Football Trip was a sight to behold. Look out Chisel, watch this space…… 12/-Finish the sentence: St. Bernard’s to me is my shepherd, and I want to follow, wherever he leads me, wherever he goes, over the mountain, the waters and byways, valleys and highways, he’s waiting for me.